


The Fugitive

by RachaelGold



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, F/M, Janeway lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 01:57:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14706935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachaelGold/pseuds/RachaelGold
Summary: Chakotay is a mess following the death of Kathryn Janeway. He is finding some consolation in supporting Seven in her grief.This is essentially a "Janeway Lives" story, set after the end of Full Circle, perhaps the beginning of Unworthy. It is necessary to understand that the post-series books had Janeway dead for a while, and this is a fixit for that.Setting: 3 years Post-Endgame after the events of Full Circle





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In Full Circle, Kathryn Janeway dies when the Borg cube on which she is travelling, having been assimilated, is blown up. Although it's possible the Q have her, that is irrelevant in this story. Kathryn Janeway is dead, after have spent one night with Chakotay as a lover. Chakotay is devastated, and Seven too is a mess. Voyager is headed back to the Delta Quadrant with a new captain (Eden), among a fleet of nine ships. Tom Paris is first officer, and Miral and B'Elanna (who are thought to be dead by the outside world) are there too. Seven is on board, and Chakotay has gone with her to support her. Let me say straight away that I have read Full Circle, but I have not read Unworthy. Nothing could induce me to read a book about Voyager that does not have Kathryn Janeway in it. In my mind, she is the principal character, and if she's not in it, it's not a Voyager book. My story therefore may not tie up very well with anything that happens in Unworthy. The references to bonding boxes and a mirror originates from Kirsten Beyer's "Isabo's Shirt"

Voyager  
2382

Chakotay groaned as he surfaced from his dream. It had been a particularly nonsensical one. As he turned over, reality hit like a cold blanket. He really did not want to get up. 

Another day. Another day to go through the motions and try to pretend to be happy for the benefit of those around him. Another day to shore up those wounded by her loss. Another day without her. 

He threw the blanket aside and stumbled blindly into the bathroom. He emptied his bladder and then splashed some cold water onto his head. He shook the droplets from his face, catching a brief glimpse of his haunted face, then rubbed himself with a towel, beginning at last to feel half-human. Finally, he took himself into the lounge, bare-chested and pajamas hanging low on his hips. He needed some tea. 

He had strong instincts…if you live life on Dorvan as a child they evolve quite naturally. Nor do you survive long in the Maquis without them. So, he sensed immediately there was someone in the room. 

That someone was in the arm chair. As his eyes focused, he could just make out the top of a head, probably female, in the dim light. The chair swivelled round and the woman within looked at him earnestly, her eyes gleaming in the darkness. 

"Chakotay," came her familiar husky voice. 

Chakotay's heart almost stopped as he recoiled from the shock. His head began to spin and his senses were reeling. It couldn't be! It couldn't! She died eighteen months ago. "Kath…" 

The woman stood and began to approach him. He took a step backwards, on edge and wary. His hand instinctively slapped his chest for the comm. badge that wasn't there. Realising his mistake, he called, "Computer, access security channel…" 

The woman's hand came up and the phaser in her hand glinted. 

"I wouldn't do that." 

He paused long enough to re-assess the situation. 

" _Security here_ ," came the distant voice. 

"False alarm," he answered, thinking better of his immediate response. 

" _Is everything alright, sir?_ " 

"Everything's fine," he finished. 

The two strangers eye-balled each other for a few moments. Once she was sure that the conversation with security had been ended satisfactorily, she lowered the phaser. 

"It was set on stun," she explained. "I wouldn't dream of hurting you." 

He studied her carefully. She certainly looked like Kathryn. Her hair was long, a little untidier than usual, maybe a shade or two different from what he remembered. She was wearing her Admiral's Starfleet uniform and looked as if she'd slept in it. 

"Who are you? And what are you doing here?" 

"I'm Kathryn Janeway." 

"The hell you are! Kathryn Janeway has been dead for eighteen months." 

" _Your_ Kathryn Janeway has been dead for eighteen months. I am not exactly _your_ Kathryn Janeway." 

"Then who are you?" 

The woman drew a long, heavy breath. "Fetch me a cup of coffee and I'll tell you." 

Chakotay only hesitated for a moment, before he went to the replicator and ordered a black coffee. He handed it to the woman, who took it gratefully, and sank back into her chair. Then he turned back and ordered himself a herbal tea. It was, after all, what he'd come into the lounge for. 

He fetched a gown and settled in a chair opposite her, cradling his drink and studying her with a degree of disquiet. This strange woman was breathing in the coffee aroma with a pleasured sigh, in exactly the way his lover would have done, and this he found very disturbing. 

"Would you care to explain yourself?" he asked her, after they'd both had time to settle and sip at their drinks. 

"It's a long story." 

"I'm not in a hurry." 

"They don't keep you busy?" 

"I don't have much of a role to play around here. I write my memoirs…spend some time with my friends…assist Seven in her work. It's not exactly time-consuming." 

She let her eyes drift over his handsome body. He looked strained, but fit and healthy. "You gave up the big chair." 

"I didn't give it up. I…wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind to run the show." 

"No. So I heard. Kind of pointless existence, isn't it?" 

"If you say so." There was a long pause before, he added, "So, if you're not my Kathryn Janeway, who are you?" 

"Do you remember, seven or so years ago…when we hadn't been in the Delta Quadrant for much more than a year…we hit some subspace turbulence and there were two Voyagers for a while. Two versions of you and me occupying the same space and time." 

"Yes," he responded, interested now. "But that Kathryn Janeway died too." 

"Yes, she did. But that Harry and that Naomi Wildman did not. They're both here today, alive and well, and nobody gives a second thought as to whether they are our Harry and our Naomi or not." 

"I don't think Sam Wildman would have said so all those years ago. She suffered some anguish over the loss of her version of Naomi." 

"Yes, but she accepted the alternate Naomi was as much her own flesh and blood…and loved her completely. That Naomi was just as cherished as the original would have been. As indeed is Harry Kim. After a day or two we just accepted him, and none of us had any regrets about switching them over." 

"Are you trying to tell me you are from a parallel universe?" 

"Parallel is a misconception," said the woman, savouring the taste of her coffee now it had cooled. "Universes are not parallel to each other. The run entwined…like a rope, if you will. Completely entwined until…bump…you hit a pocket of subspace." The woman gestured with her hand, expressing herself in a way that was painfully familiar to him. Then the fibres split…fanning out into two or more directions. Two distinct universes with the same root. The same history, different futures. The virtual universe is expanding just as the physical one is from its point of origin. If any were ever to collide again, it could be catastrophic. It's just as well we didn't succeed in merging the two Voyagers. I know, I know...." she said, dismissing his look of confusion with a wave of her hand, "It's quite hard to get your head round it. There are multiple universes where you and I exist, many more where we never existed at all. It is an extremely rare occurrence for one universe to be aware of another. The odds of what happened to us on Voyager that time are microscopic." 

"And yet you're here," he said, with a hint of sarcasm. 

"Yes, I am." 

"How did you get to be such an expert on all this?" 

"I've been working for nearly two years with the Minozians. They have been experimenting for years to open a stable window between universes. The Federation have tried, to no avail, to stop them. It was considered too dangerous. Freedom of movement between universes could upset the delicate balance of matter and anti-matter. So, as part of the condition of their continued membership of the Federation, it was proposed that a Federal representative worked alongside them, monitoring their progress and reporting back. If they ever got remotely near opening that window and sending a team through, I dare say the Federation would have deemed it necessary to take further steps to shut them down. I was sent to spy on them, if you like." 

"You?" 

"Yes. I was uniquely qualified for the task. I had a scientific background…a rarity in the admiralty, as you know…the highest level security clearance…and experience of an alternate universe…which no other person in the upper echelons of Starfleet could even dream about, let alone put on their resumé. I had actually dealt with the issues of transference and communications with the alternate universe, when Voyager was split in two. I even met myself, as I'm sure you recall." 

Chakotay nestled back in his chair. It sounded so plausible. 

"What Starfleet didn't bargain on was that I might have a vested interest in the Minozians succeeding at their little game," she added. 

"I'm assuming, since you're here, that they did." 

"Yes, you're right." 

"And you didn't warn the authorities?" 

"Oh, I sent a coded warning alright…intentionally too late to stop the first experiment." 

"Sounds like you risked your career for this…" 

"I have. If I go back, the least that will happen is that I will be thrown out of Starfleet. I'll more likely land up in some penal colony for the rest of my life." 

Chakotay raised his eyebrows at this. "That doesn't sound like the Janeway, I know. She was a stickler for the regulations. She wouldn't have dreamt of breaking Starfleet's trust in a million years." 

"Oh, she would. Maybe you didn't know her as well as you thought you did. Look how the Admiral travelled back through time to bring Voyager home early…she was certainly willing to bend the rules when it suited her. It's in my genes!" 

"Hmm." 

"She used time-travel to ensure you and Seven in particular survived. Why shouldn't I do the same thing? I may have used a different vehicle for my attempt at changing history, but my method is no more or less extreme than hers. Let me tell you, I had no intention of waiting till I was old to get my hands on a chrono-deflector. No, I saw another opportunity and took it." 

"Clearly." 

"Ever wonder why Braxton and the time-police didn't turn up to stop her?" 

"Well…yes, actually." 

"Because we'd long since diverted out of the universe that had Braxton in it. We hit a bump somewhere…and poof…Braxton didn't exist in our future universe anymore." 

"Oh," said Chakotay, really beginning to buy into this strange tale. 

"We hit another bump in the Borg trans-warp conduit just before Voyager reached the Alpha Quadrant, and your universe and mine parted. You and I are exactly the same two people we were up until that point. We spent the whole seven years together in the Delta Quadrant. We spent three months stranded together on New Earth and so nearly became lovers. You held me in your arms when I nearly died on another planet…you told me we had plenty of time when I heard from Mark that he'd married someone else…you squeezed my hand just before I transported to the Borg cube for certain assimilation and offered to clean the carpets. You spent more time with me that any other member of the crew. I am exactly that person. Those things happened to you and me, not someone else. You think I'm a stranger to you! I'm not! We know each other very well, Chakotay. It's only been since we got home three years ago that we've lived different lives. 

Even after we got back, our universes were almost indistinguishable for a while. It wasn't until I got sent on a different mission and you married Seven that my universe began to differ significantly from yours." 

"I married Seven?" 

"Yes." 

"How did that make you feel?" 

"You want the truth? Gutted. If you hadn't been dating Seven when we got home, I would have told you how I felt. But you were, so I tried to be happy for you." 

"So you and your Chakotay never had a relationship?" 

"No. We never did. Not in the fullest sense of the word…but that doesn't mean we both didn't want it." 

"Let me get this straight….you're here to…you're here to claim what you couldn't have with me, because your Chakotay married someone else? You risked a catastrophic fracture of two universes in a fit of pique? Just because one version of me didn't want you? What the hell happened to your principles?" 

"No…no! If that's all it was…I wouldn't have put my career on the line for that. If you'd simply married Seven, I'd have accepted it and got on with my life. Well, I did for six months. You married Seven almost as soon as we'd got home." 

Chakotay raised an eyebrow at this. "That doesn't sound plausible to me…I pretty soon realised that we weren't all that compatible. Friends perhaps, but lovers would never have worked." 

"Unfortunately, my Chakotay decided that after they got married. But he would never have told me that, if circumstances hadn't intervened. Don't ask me why he married her so quickly. He never explained that. They went to live on Dorvan. I got promoted to Admiral. We hardly spoke for six months." 

"So what happened?" 

"You want to know?" 

"Well, now you've started, I think you'd better tell me all." 

Kathryn put her empty mug on the table, and eyed him speculatively. "They threw themselves into the land-reclamation project and the rebuilding of the colony. As you know, Dorvan had been decimated by the Cardassians. It was hard work, but all went well for a while, until they unearthed a phial clearing the ground behind the main settlement. It contained some lethal Cardassian poison, left over from the days of the assault. Unfortunately it broke, infecting six people, you and Seven, included. 

Seven died within two days. Her cortical node was programmed to shut down in the event of her body being damaged so severely. You and the other four were rushed to DS9 for treatment. None of you survived. You…I mean...he lingered for another six weeks in dreadful agony. I was at his side for the last four. He died in my arms." 

There was silence for a few minutes, as Chakotay digested this news. 

"Whilst I was at Chakotay's side, he confessed an awful lot to me," continued Kathryn. "He told me his marriage to Seven had been a mistake. That his love for her had been shallow. That he'd missed me every single day we'd been apart, that he was heartbroken at our estrangement and that he knew now his love for me was so big a part of him, it could never be extinguished. He could never escape it, even when he'd tried to form relationships with other women. He told me how much it would have meant to him to change the nature our beautiful relationship, to consummate our longing, to join our bodies as closely as our souls. He told me how much he regretted not pushing me for a relationship while we were on board Voyager nor seizing the opportunity as soon as we were home to do something about it. He died full of regret…but at least I was by his side. 

Imagine my reaction when a year later, I discovered that in this universe I'd been the one that died. That you were the one that was heartbroken at my loss…I couldn't help myself. I risked everything to find you. I've certainly thrown my career away at the very least. I am effectively on the run. If I go back now, they'll likely throw me in jail for the rest of my life. Not only have I got the Minozians after me, I dare say the Fed. Police are looking for me too. Maybe from both the universes. I'm not sure how long it will take them to come looking for me here. We came through the portal, five Minozians and myself, intending to stay three days. I packed latinum in my bag, not just clothes, enough to fund the journey to find you, even to start a new life over here. We were supposed to meet up for the return journey three weeks ago. I missed the rendezvous. They had no reason to suspect I would skip out on them, until I didn't show. Even then they couldn't be sure I hadn't met with some accident… 

I booked passage from Minozia to the docking station. I took care to bring some false identity papers and cover my tracks. I smuggled myself aboard Voyager, and I've stayed in hiding for the last two weeks since we left the Alpha Quadrant. She was, after all, my ship, and I know how to hide on her. I've been using a device to mask my vital signs...probably the same device B'Elanna and Miral are using to keep their presence out of ship logs. It's a danger that anomalous heat signatures might be detected, but Captain Eden's already aware there are two superfluous bodies on board, so she's probably disinclined to order a heat sensor scan. She's got no real reason for it most of the time anyway. 

Sometimes, I think I must have gone mad to risk all this. It's been a huge gamble on my part. Sometimes I can't believe how selfish I've been. I've caused all this trouble, left my poor mother a mere note of explanation. I told her, if she heard no more from me, things would have gone to plan, and I was happy. Yes, I risked a catastrophic implosion of two universes, at least in Starfleet's opinion.…although I have to say in my defence that I was confident there was no risk, and that my staying here would cause a mere ripple in the fabric of either universe. Bringing Harry and Naomi through all those years ago caused no problems, at least that we know about, and I've never regretted that we did that. On the contrary, their being here has resulted in much happiness in this universe, and they would have ceased to exist if they'd stayed in their own. The result was much better than the alternative. 

Still, risking everything must be in my genes. After all, it's little more than the older version of myself did in altering the timeline to bring Voyager home earlier. At least, she could justify her motives as being based on other people's happiness. This time I've done it for my own. 

Yes, I've been reckless. I've gambled everything on you being interested in taking me in her place. I'm not expecting you to jump right in and take up right where we left off…but I'm hoping you'll realise I am her." 

"A clever story." 

"You don't believe me? You can get the Doc over and check me out." 

"I might just do that." 

"There may be some slight difference in background resonance, but my DNA will check out one hundred percent. Until three years ago, I was exactly the same flesh and blood as her. I may have changed in the last three years, but so do any two people. So would she have changed in the months you'd have been apart." 

"Sounds like you know a lot about what's been going on around here. Have you been spying on me?" he said, resentfully. 

"Not exactly. When we looked through the window into this universe, we could find a lot about what was going on from the data bases. We weren't intentionally spying on anyone. To tell the truth, I was the one that chose this universe for the experiment, for purely selfish reasons. We could have chosen one where you were happily married to Seven, or even happily married to me with a bunch of kids. It helped that this was the nearest universe to ours…it was the most recent fork in the continuum, if you like. So it wasn't difficult to persuade the Minozians." 

"Or you could have chosen a universe in which you and I didn't even exist." 

"I could, but it would have been very nearly impossible to use for the experiment. Just as when you gaze into real space, where you can only clearly see the galaxies close to you, it's the same with diverse universes. You can only clearly see the ones closest to your own." 

"And you've spent two weeks hiding out on Voyager?" 

"Yep. Trying to gauge how you were. Whether I was being fair on you by coming back from the dead. Whether perhaps you'd moved on." 

"Maybe I have." 

"Have you?" She looked at him anxiously, but he wasn't giving anything away. "I'm here now…it's a bit too late to go back. I could hand myself over to the Minozians here...they'll be developing the same technology...or possibly throw myself on the mercy of Starfleet. I am, after all, in possession of rather a lot of valuable information." 

"You're no doubt a valuable commodity. They may be interested." 

Kathryn nodded. "But my hope was that we could disappear together in the Delta Quadrant, much like Tom and B'Elanna are planning. There are plenty of places we could go." 

Chakotay had to agree with that. "There are. But it's a little arrogant of you to assume I will just fall in with your plan. You expect me to drop everything and go with you? Welcome you with open arms? You're a stranger to me!" 

Kathryn looked at him mournfully. "I'm not stupid, Chakotay. I know this has been a huge shock for you. I don't expect you to make up your mind straight away. But please believe me, when I tell you, we are not strangers. I may not be your Kathryn now, but I was her once. We are extremely close friends…or were three years ago. Beyond that things have changed, but I hope sincerely that we can work through that. I'm here, I'm alive and I want to see if we can salvage something from this.… 

I know you need time. I expected that, but if you could see your way to hiding me in here for a while, I'd be grateful. I've no place else to go. I haven't had a decent night's sleep for a long time. Nor a good meal. Could I possibly have something to eat? I'm starving." 

He finally smiled. "Now I know you must be an imposter! I never heard Kathryn Janeway say she was starving!" He got up and walked towards the replicator. "We don't have to cope with rations these days. What would you like?" 

"Some ham and eggs. With some bread and juice. I'll need some clothes too, I'm afraid. I have plenty of credits…I had to convert the latinum. It doesn't hold so much value out here." 

He looked at her incredulously. "You seem to have it all planned out." 


	2. Chapter 2

"She is exactly who she says she is!" pronounced the Doctor a few hours later. He stepped back from the patient and turned towards Chakotay. "The DNA is a perfect match, and physically her condition tallies with her medical records. Her age is consistent. She is a little undernourished and could use some sleep. Her caffeine levels are lower than we're used to. But she knows things that only the real Kathryn Janeway could possibly know. I have no doubt in my mind that she is who she says she is." 

Chakotay looked sternly at the Doctor. He did not seem to want to acknowledge this for the moment. 

Kathryn sat up on Chakotay's sofa, where she, for once, had allowed the Doctor to examine her without protest and turned to look at Chakotay too. She didn't care for the rather stony-faced expression he was wearing. 

Unperturbed, the Doctor looked back at Janeway with a smile. "May I be the first to welcome you back, Admiral. I'm sure I speak for us all in saying that we've missed you badly. It's quite a tale you have to tell. Tell me, is my alter ego in your universe faring well?" 

"Let's just say, he's carving out quite a niche for himself." 

The Doctor looked rather pleased with this. "I would love to hear about it sometime." 

"And I'd be delighted to fill you in, but now is not perhaps the moment." 

Chakotay was frowning now at the Doctor's already familiar acceptance of this Kathryn, and the easy banter that was beginning to flow between the two. 

"Doctor," said Chakotay, "May I remind you that you must tell no-one what you have seen today. We must keep Kathryn's presence here a secret. We do not wish Captain Eden to find out, or worse, her ex-husband Admiral Batiste. As far as you're concerned, Kathryn Janeway is still dead." 

"I understand. You may rely on me. I will not breathe a word of what is going on, not even to Seven, if that is what you wish," answered the Doctor. 

"I am considering telling her," responded Chakotay. "You are, I presume, going to pay her a visit while you're here?" 

"Naturally. She is still quite fragile, as you know, despite the fact that your presence has helped her enormously, Commander. However, it is my opinion that some of her distress has been caused by the loss of the Admiral here, and I cannot believe anything but good would come of her meeting her again." 

"I agree with you," answered Chakotay, "Which, now you have confirmed the Admiral's identity, leads me to believe she should be told." 

"Seven has not been well?" enquired Kathryn. 

"No," confessed Chakotay. "She has been suffering a lot of distress lately." 

"Something akin to a nervous breakdown," added the Doctor, "And some residual mental manipulation from the Borg, but she is much improved since the Commander here has been assisting her." 

Kathryn sighed. "I would love to help, but I'll accept whatever you decide is best." 

"She should be told," Chakotay decided finally. "Besides, I usually spend a lot of time with her. She's going to wonder what's going on." 

"Would you like me to tell her?" asked the Doctor. 

Chakotay nodded. "I'll leave it in your capable hands." 

"Could you give us an hour or so, and then bring her over?" asked Kathryn. 

"Very well." The Doctor stepped forward and took her hand. "It really is good to see you again." 

"It's good to see you again," said Kathryn warmly. Then deciding that a handshake was too formal, she threw her arms round him and gave him a hug, which seemed to please the holographic doctor no end. 

After the Doctor left, there was an awkward silence for a few minutes. Kathryn sat back down on the sofa. She was, truth be told, really tired. 

Chakotay paced the floor of his lounge. His agitation was palpable. 

"Chakotay," she began, "Do you believe my story now?" 

"Yes. Well, almost. I'd like to." 

"I know it's going to take a while for this to sink in." 

"You're telling me!" 

"Do you mind me asking?" she began, tentatively. "You and Seven…are you really close? Have I just made the most monumental blunder? In assuming that…that…you still love me? Maybe I was wrong. Are you and Seven in a relationship?" 

"No, we're not. How can you even think that?" 

"It's just that…you and Seven married in my universe. You dated in this one. There must be something there. Some spark." 

"No, there isn't, I assure you. What spark there may have been Voyager fizzled away quite quickly once we were home. But we are united in our grief. We're friends. We offer each other mutual support. The arrangement has been working well. I thought it was the least I could do in your memory. It's been hard on her to lose you…her most valuable support in her voyage into humanity." 

Kathryn merely nodded at this. "I suppose I should have given more thought to the possibility that you might have moved on. Have you?" 

"No," he answered simply. "It was so wonderful, so beautiful…what we had. It's never going to leave me. It will always be part of me." 

"I'd love you to tell me about it. When you're ready." 

"I don't know if I can. I don't know if I want to…" he said, his voice cracking. 

"How long were we together?" 

He looked at her, hardly believing she would question him on this so directly. This was like a stranger prying into one of his most private, most special moments. 

"One night." 

"One night?" she asked, in disbelief. 

"The most incredible night of my life." 

"Just one night?" 

"We were on Proxima Station. She had to leave on a mission the next morning. I had a mission on Voyager. We were to meet in Venice ten months later. I made it, she didn't. Mark came instead," he said, choking now. 

"Ten months? Couldn't she have changed her plans? Once we'd taken that step, I thought we'd move heaven and earth to be together." 

"We intended to, once we both got back from our respective missions. But she never made it." 

"Chakotay, I'm sorry. I wish things had turned out differently." 

"So do I," he said tearfully. 

"And in all the time since, did you ever wonder what you'd do, what you'd say to her, if she walked back through the door?" 

"Many times." 

"Well, here I am." 

"You're not her." 

"I was her…until three years ago." 

"Yes. I understand that. But you're not the woman I made love to." 

* * *

  


Seven reacted to Kathryn's appearance with the enthusiasm of a child taken to meet a fairy-tale princess. Kathryn was somewhat bemused by the emotional outburst in the formerly sober ex-drone, and she figured it had to do with the de-activation of her fail-safe device. Even though the Doctor and Chakotay had intimated it, she was still less aware of the stress Seven had been experiencing as a result of her traumatic encounters with the Caeliar and the Borg. Seven was dealing with the loss of two important people in her life: her aunt Irene and Janeway herself, as well as Borg voices in her head. Chakotay's role had been to support and assist her as she joined Voyager's mission. 

Kathryn was grateful that she herself had spent some time watching her friends covertly, and allowed herself to get over the initial emotional turbulence of seeing both Seven and Chakotay alive. It would have been even more awkward if they'd all been blubbering like babies. 

Once Seven had calmed down, she and Kathryn began to chat with the ease of close friends who have just been apart for a while. They appeared to be picking up exactly where they'd left off, although Chakotay reflected that they were inter-acting with each other more like equals, than the former mentor/student or even mother/daughter relationship that they had previously enjoyed. The Doctor joined in too, with his usual acerbic wit. Seven seemed to accept Kathryn at face-value, as did the Doctor, and they spent a long time comparing the two universes. Seven and the Doctor were just as willing to fill Kathryn in on what had happened in the past three years as Kathryn was to hear it. 

Chakotay suddenly felt like the outsider. He felt almost jealous of the ease with which the three of them conversed, as if nothing of consequence had ever torn them apart. He realised that Seven and the Doctor were having no difficulty in accepting this Kathryn Janeway as the genuine article. They exhibited no sense of viewing her as an imposter, rather they seemed to welcome her as a long-lost friend, who needed filling in on what had been happening recently. The three of them were bubbling with happiness. 

So why did he feel so terrible? Why was his heart in his boots? Why wasn't he just as excited at the arrival of this stranger? His only explanation was that he had been physically intimate with the missing woman. If he hadn't, he imagined he would be feeling just as thrilled at her reappearance as the rest of the company. 

He had only been intimate with his Kathryn for one night, but it made all the difference. This was not the woman he had made love to. 

Seven and the Doctor would have stayed long into the night, except Kathryn was utterly exhausted, and Chakotay had to send the visitors on their way, with the warning that they must not breathe a word to anyone about Kathryn's appearance and presence on the ship. They especially did not want Captain Eden to find out, arrest her and send her back to the Alpha Quadrant. 

The mood became quite sombre after the guests left, but Kathryn was too tired for any further discussion. It was quickly decided that Kathryn would sleep in his bed, and he would take the sofa. 

By the time he stole quietly through his bedroom to use the bathroom, she was already asleep. She had been so exhausted by the time she climbed into bed, that, despite the tensions between herself and Chakotay, she had fallen asleep almost as soon as her head touched the pillow. Chakotay's whispered "goodnight" had been met with silence. He stood and watched her sleeping for a few moments, admired the chestnut hair splayed on the pillow, the faint gleam of starlight on her cheekbone, the steady rise and fall of the cover as she breathed. His heart yearned to climb into bed beside her, his head protested that everything was all wrong. This wasn't his Kathryn. She could never be his Kathryn. 

His Kathryn was dead. 


	3. Chapter 3

As the days went by, these gloomy feelings persisted with Chakotay. He loved having this woman here. Their days were filled with interesting conversation, even their old lively banter, but in many ways it only served to underline to Chakotay what he had lost. 

His responsibility to Seven lessened, in the sense that Kathryn's reappearance in her life had made a world of difference to the young woman. He was able to back off and let Kathryn reassume much responsibility for her. He didn't feel the need to visit Seven now. Instead she visited them on a daily basis, sometimes bringing the Doctor with her. She was a changed woman, not at all the dispirited mess that he had been called to support at the beginning of the voyage. 

Kathryn seemed relaxed and happy, although he sometimes caught her looking at him with a worried expression on her face. Although superficially he was thoroughly enjoying her company, he knew she sensed his inner turmoil and his misgivings about their relationship. He had put some sort of barrier up around his heart, and he was not going to take it down willingly. 

He was more than happy to give her food and shelter, and quite committed to protecting her from discovery. In fact, deep down he was increasingly worried someone would discover her and rip her away from him. That was something he couldn't bear to contemplate. 

She wasn't difficult to hide. She could stay in his quarters without arousing any attention. He would sometimes leave her alone for a few hours, while she read books or trawled through data-bases to get her head round the workings of this new universe. She elected not to tell her mother, the one in this universe of her presence. The poor woman had had her daughter die on her twice, and Kathryn didn't think it was right to resurrect herself yet again, especially if she might get arrested and sent back to her own universe. 

Chakotay knew she was going a little stir-crazy though, and a couple of times he snuck her onto the holodeck for a few outings or work-outs. In the evenings they would talk late into the night…their conversations just as sparkling and stimulating as of old…and then they'd retire to separate beds. She insisted on taking the sofa most nights…she was not as big as he was, so it made sense. If she felt any disappointment at the sleeping arrangements, she didn't let it show. 

But Chakotay knew there would be a time of reckoning. They couldn't ignore what lay between them. They could not leave it unresolved. He couldn't indefinitely hide her in his quarters. He was filled with dread that she would go, or that she would be discovered, and yet he could not bring himself to step forward with her. He avoided physical contact wherever possible. It was almost as if he felt that if he touched her, he'd burn. 

Seven and the Doctor would drop by just to be sociable without exciting comment, as indeed could Tom, B'Elanna and Harry. It had pretty quickly been decided that they were owed the truth too, and Tom's position as First Officer made him a useful ally. The news of her arrival was greeted with absolute joy on their part, and B'Elanna would often bring Miral for long visits in the afternoon. There were many laughter-filled gatherings of the old friends in the evenings. Everybody, it seemed, was thrilled to have this Kathryn Janeway here, except Chakotay. 

She was just as wonderful, just as exciting, just as beautiful, just as brilliant a foil to his intellect as the real one was. He'd gotten to know and love her well. But she wasn't his Kathryn. She wasn't the woman he'd made love to. And he was still in mourning for that woman. 

Why he felt like this, he couldn't say. Tuvok and Seven would have told him he was being illogical. But his heart was wounded. It had a massive Kathryn-sized hole in it. This woman fit it perfectly, but the margins were scarred, the wounds would not heal over and the edges seemed unable to fuse. 

* * *

  


"I'd be angry with her," he said suddenly. 

Kathryn looked up from the book she had been reading and ran her gaze over the man sitting opposite her. "Pardon?" 

"You asked me what I'd say, if she came walking back through the door. I'd be angry with her. For giving me something so beautiful, promising me the future, and then getting herself killed. For leaving me to live this life without her." 

Kathryn nodded, relieved he was beginning to talk about it. "I can understand that. I felt some sense of that when Chakotay died on me. But that doesn't mean I didn't want him back." 

"No," Chakotay admitted. 

"If he'd come back, I'd probably have given him a piece of my mind. He'd probably want to turn right round and walk away again…but I'd have forgiven him, and we would have made up eventually. We always do." 

Chakotay answered this with a wry smile. 

"It's only really when you have to live without someone, that you learn just how much they meant to you," she added. 

"That is very true," he said, unable to meet her gaze. "Kathryn?" 

"Yes?" 

"Did you love him? I know you implied…" 

"Yes!" 

"Oh." 

"To be precise, I see no distinction between the two of you. I have loved you for years…since early in our journey together. I could never have gotten through all those years without you. I was so very grateful for your support, for everything you did to keep me going. I know you wanted more…we even acknowledged it once or twice, but I hope you understood why it could not be out there. If I hadn't been Captain of the ship, hadn't been responsible for your life, things would have been different. The love that smouldered between us had the potential to vaporise the command structure. It wouldn't have been a safe comfortable love…a low risk, modest reward kind of thing, such as I had with Mark. No, it would have been all-consuming affair. I believe I told you what a wreck I was after Justin, my first fiancé, died. I couldn't risk that. I couldn't." 

Chakotay regarded her with an inscrutable expression. He knew this to be true, but was reluctant to agree with her. 

"So we settled for friendship. A beautiful, precious friendship. It was the best we could make of it at the time. The best thing for us." 

"The best thing for you, you mean," he said, with a little rancour. 

"Alright, the best thing for me…and the best thing for the ship." 

He gave a derisory chuckle at this, and Kathryn sighed at the distance it seemed to put between them. 

"The best thing for us would have been for us to have been together right from the start. We wasted years…eight, nine years. And all I got was one…one miserable night." 

"Miserable?" 

"I mean…I mean…you know what I mean. One night…when we could have had a lifetime." 

"It's all she got too," she said softly. 

"That was her decision." 

"I'm sure she would have wished it otherwise. Look at us now. Two broken people! If how we are now shows us anything, it shows us just how much we would have risked to have loved back then." 

"I suppose you have a point," he conceded. 

"I never do things half-heartedly, Chakotay. You know that. I throw myself body and soul into things. It couldn't be. But I was left with my hope. There was hardly a day out there when I didn't hope we'd get home, before we lost that spark…before you got tired of waiting." 

He looked at her with more interest now, and felt a sudden pang of guilt. He had got tired of waiting. Both versions of himself. That's what the whole Seven debacle had been about. At least, _he_ hadn't made the mistake of marrying her. He felt a grudging empathy for this person who called herself Kathryn Janeway. 


	4. Chapter 4

His quarters were stark, Kathryn decided. He had none of his personal knick-knacks on display, no pictures, no dream-catchers, no ancient artefacts, no souvenirs, nothing such as he used to have adorning his quarters in the old days in the Delta Quadrant. It suggested he was unsettled. Or unhappy. Or both. 

She called him on it one evening. 

"I haven't brought many of my personal possessions," he admitted. "They're still packaged up, since I vacated the Captain's Quarters. I haven't wanted to put anything out. Too much of it reminds me of…you." 

"You're still hurting too much?" 

"Yes," he conceded. "Silly, I know. Something deep down in me seems to say that if I don't put pictures of you up, it won't hurt so much. I won't be reminded of what I've lost." 

"Does it work?" 

"No. Then again, if I put my things out it would be as if I was accepting something I'm not ready to accept…that I'd being trying to go on with my life…when the truth is I'm probably not." 

Kathryn looked at him sadly for a moment. They were standing in his bedroom, and it was decidedly bare. It hurt her to think that her arrival had not appeared to change anything. 

"Your night at Proxima, would it help you to tell me about it?" 

"I don't want to talk about it." 

"Are you sure? I think it's the one thing that's standing between us. I think it would help us both if you told me a little about what happened." 

He looked at her uncertainly, running a hand through his hair. She was right, of course. It was the huge stumbling block. Maybe he should try to tell her some of it. 

"Voyager was docked at Proxima," he began. "I had rooms on the station. Kathryn came to see me while we were there. We had dinner. We often did. We met up whenever we could. It was always a delight. We talked…and things got personal." He paused, but Kathryn didn't interrupt. She waited patiently for him to continue. "We asked about each other's dates. We'd both had a few. And she implied she was well rid of her last one and I said, "good". It just slipped out, without my even thinking. So she probed…and…I always thought….maybe I'd conditioned myself to think…that she didn't care for me in that way. But she did. She said, "I never said never…" 

Kathryn's eyes widened at the implication of the words. "No…I never said never. I said, if I remember correctly, not now. Not until I am no longer responsible for your life…" 

Chakotay looked at her in surprise. It finally struck him…he'd probably closed his mind to the possibility… that he and this Kathryn had actually associated with each other at sometime in the past. They had talked, worked together, lived next-door to each other, become firm friends. There was no way an imposter could have known of that particular conversation. This woman was no more nor no less the real Kathryn Janeway than his had been. For a moment a smile hovered on his lips. 

"Then what happened?" Kathryn encouraged. 

"Well…she reminded me that we'd promised each other we'd visit Venice when we got back, something we hadn't done. She suggested we met up when I got back from the mission and explored the possibility of taking our relationship to the next level." He was studying her face carefully as he talked, wondering at her reaction to all this, but her dark eyes showed little more than a deep pool of sympathy. "There was no way…no way I was going to wait ten months, now that she'd opened that particular door, even just a crack. So I took her in my arms, pulled the clasps out of her hair... We kissed…and the rest I can leave to your imagination." 

Kathryn smiled gently. "And you made love? There and then?" 

Chakotay was surprised she wanted more. He would not ordinarily have answered such a question, but this was Kathryn Janeway, or some weird version of her, and the circumstances were extremely strange. He figured some openness between them could improve their relationship. 

"Yes." 

"In the lounge?" 

"We made it as far as the bedroom...in something of a hurry." 

"How many times?" 

He hesitated momentarily. Did he really want to answer this? "Three. Twice after dinner. Again in the early hours of the morning." 

"And was it as good as you had imagined it would be?" 

He paused for only a moment. "Better. It exceeded our expectations. It was the most incredible night of my life. She was…so special…" he managed, as his voice began to crack. "She was the love of my life...I'd felt it almost as soon as we met, never mind that we only had one night to make it real." 

Kathryn reached forward to take his hand. She didn't dare attempt any closer contact. She felt the tremor in his fingers and squeezed reassuringly. 

"Then I lost her…I never saw her again in the flesh. We spoke a number of times over the comm. channels, but it's not the same." 

"No, it's not." 

"She completed me. She was my soul-mate. I felt whole. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her at my side." 

"And you'd waited so long to be together." 

"Yes," he said with a sniff. 

"And she felt the same?" 

"She told me she loved me." 

"Were you engaged? Had you talked about the future?" 

"We talked about the future a lot over the commlinks. We were planning a future together. But we weren't engaged. I was going to ask her as soon as we got back together, but…" 

"She died." 

"Yes." 

"How reckless of her!" 

"She always did put duty before her personal happiness…" 

"She did. That was a huge part of her psyche. Mine too. But sometimes people change. Maybe you can handle a version of her that has, for once, put personal happiness before duty." 

He managed a smile. "That's you, I suppose." 

"That's me. Chakotay, I know it's hard for you to take on board, but it's only the last three years that I haven't lived with you. Everything that happened out in the Delta Quadrant between you and Kathryn was between you and me. I was there! It's only since we got home that our lives have taken different paths." She was tempted to tell him to try and forget what happened on Proxima, to imagine that the last time they had really talked had been in the last few days in the Delta Quadrant...when she herself had been there. To imagine that they'd parted as just friends and that she had been away for three years. To imagine they were just meeting up again, aware that their friendship was still full of possibilities, just waiting to be turned into something more. She wanted to tell him to let go of what had happened, and start over. And yet she knew that the night they'd had together was too significant, too valuable to him to try to pretend it hadn't happened. 

"Let me show you something…" she suggested. 

She skipped off and rummaged in one of her bags which she had stowed in the corner of his bedroom, out of sight to any casual visitors to his quarters. After a moment, she pulled out an intricately carved wooden box. The wood gleamed, a bright and fiery reddish-brown, as it rested in her palm. Chakotay swallowed. It seemed to reflect the very tone of her hair. She turned to face him, carefully holding it before her. 

"The bonding box!" he exclaimed. It was the box she had given him as a birthday present a long time ago, without realising its true significance. She had meant it as a gift of friendship, until Chakotay had explained that it was a gift a person would give to someone they were very much in love with, a symbol of eternal bonding. Her error had led to the discussion they had just mentioned, when she told him that a relationship between them would have to wait until she wasn't responsible for his life anymore. 

"Yes." 

"Have you been through my things?" he asked testily. 

"No!" she said indignantly, a little put out that he should think such a thing. "I brought it with me. I've kept it all these years." 

"Oh!" he said, in realisation. He turned to his closet, and spent a few moments hunting in some containers, before bringing out a box that was an exact duplicate. For a moment he stood looking at it in a rather bemused fashion. He ran his thumb over the carving. The decorations on the four edges were painfully familiar to him: 

Eternity. 

Commitment. 

Fidelity. 

Two spirits joined as one. 

The carvings were overlaid with three entwined circles, representing love. This was the original decoration on the box, as it had been when Kathryn had given it to him the first time, having mistaken the symbolism. She had intended it to represent a deep friendship. When he realised her error, he had returned it to her, with the three circles separated and now symbolising their hopes for the future and the possibilities that lay between them. After their one night together, Kathryn had sent it back to him with the original design restored. 

"She gave it back to you?" asked Kathryn gently. 

"Well, she had it sent to me after her ship left Proxima." 

He looked up, and his gaze met hers. With wondrous eyes, they stepped toward each other, and held the two boxes up against each other. 

"They're twins," he stated. 

"No, they're actually the same box. I know it's strange…" Chakotay looked doubtful. "Look, you can see where it's worn down a little…where I've rubbed my hands over it so many times." Kathryn's long fingers swept tenderly over the slightly paler scrolling on the lid. 

She was right. "You rubbed it?" 

"And polished it. I put a lot of loving care into it…It was very precious to me. It was something I always wanted to give to you again, one day when I was free to do so…free to give it to you and mean the sentiment behind it." 

Chakotay nodded in understanding. 

"I had it turned back to the original design just before I came here. It's kind of a symbol of what I hoped for in the future. Tell me…it's not a bad omen to have two of these, is it?" she asked anxiously. 

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "I doubt it's ever happened that a bonded pair had two of the same box. Usually, the man gives it to the woman. Sometimes, couples would exchange boxes. Then there'd be two…but different." He gazed into her troubled eyes, almost letting himself be drawn in. Their reverie was interrupted by his door chime. There was just time for an anxious glance to pass between them, before they began to move quickly. Harry, Tom, or anyone who knew of Kathryn's presence, had gotten into the habit of announcing who they were when they rang the chime, so as to quickly allay any panic behind the door. No voice of explanation was heard this time, so both boxes were hurriedly shoved away. Kathryn took her seat in the corner of his bedroom, and picked her book from the floor. Chakotay rushed through to his lounge, ensuring the bedroom door was closed behind him and admitted his visitor. 

"Ah, Captain Eden! What can I do for you?" 


	5. Chapter 5

Late one evening when they were alone, Kathryn came to sit next to him on the sofa. She was truly disappointed with the way things were going. They did not seem to be making much headway. She'd tried to be patient, but deep down, she was beginning to wonder if Chakotay would ever accept her into his life. He was decidedly guarded with her much of the time, much of the flirtatiousness of their earlier relationship was missing. It was slowly chipping away at her resolve, slowly wearing her down. She was beginning to think she really had made a monumental error. 

When she put her hand on his knee, as she might have done many times in the distant past, he flinched, and she withdrew her hand with a sinking heart. 

"Chakotay, is this a problem? If I touch you, you shrink away. Can you not bear my hand on your knee?" 

"I wish you wouldn't. It doesn't seem right…" 

"I'm sorry," she apologised. "I knew you'd take a while to adjust to this. But I can't understand why you can't accept me as her? To me you're my Chakotay…more than my Chakotay. You're how he used to be before he got ill, and I much prefer him vital, full of life….just as you are now…" 

"But you're not her. I can't switch my feelings on and off. I still mourn for her. She is the woman I spend one wonderful night with." 

"I'd give anything to have a night like that." 

"I can't give you that." 

"Why not, Chakotay?" 

"I'd feel I was betraying her. That somehow she might come back and find me cheating on her." 

"She's dead. Just like my Chakotay is dead. She's not going to come walking back through that door. Her body was blown to pieces and there's nothing left of her. Not a trace. You never even got to say goodbye. My Chakotay is rotting under the ground, but at least I was with him at the end. If their spirits exist anywhere, then it's not in this universe. I am the only version of her you'll ever see in this lifetime." 

"I know that! Don't you think I know that? But it's how I feel that's important…" 

"And you don't feel anything for me?" 

"Of course, I feel something for you. But I loved her." 

Kathryn's eyes glazed over at the implication. He loved her..the other Kathryn. But he doesn't love me, she thought. She held his gaze for a few moments, before dropping her head in defeat. "I guess I misjudged this. Badly. God, how stupid can I have been? It was easy for me to think this could work, because I never slept with him. I never crossed that final barrier. But you had that one night. You closed the connection, and somehow you can't let that go." 

"No," he answered miserably. 

"You have to let her go…" 

"I only wish I could….but I loved her so much…." 

"Sleep with me…and I guarantee you won't know the difference." 

Chakotay looked at her with a carefully neutral face, yet the misery shone in his eyes. He didn't answer her. He couldn't form the words in his throat. 

Kathryn sighed deeply in resignation. "Then I guess there's nothing more to be said. I'd better go," she said, standing up and making for the door. "I'm sorry for everything, but I have to go back. Face the music. If I give myself up, maybe they'll go easy on me. My career can't be salvaged, but if I'm very lucky I'll escape jail…" 

"Where will you go?" he asked, standing himself. 

"Back to the Minozians, I guess. Eden will have to give me transport. If I can't find the ones I came with, there are sure to be some in this universe experimenting with the same technology." 

"That's madness. You can't do that. You can't risk being thrown in jail!" 

"Why not? There's nothing for me here. If you don't want me, there's no reason to stay. And it's no use pretending to myself that you may change your mind. It's clear now that's not going to happen. I have to go. I'm sorry I ever troubled you with this...I made a huge error of judgement. It would have been better if I'd never come. Goodbye, Chakotay. I hope you find some way to be happy again." 

She was almost at the door when Chakotay choked. 

"Stay," he blurted out to her retreating back. He'd lost one Kathryn and, by God, he couldn't let this one walk out of his life. Kathryn stopped in her tracks and her head tilted downward. "Don't go, Kathryn." 

Her head came round, her eyes full of tears, and Chakotay dissolved in remorse. His heart went out to her. Suddenly, the fact that she was hurting so badly, reached into his own broken heart and set it beating again. A slight gesture of the hands brought her into his arms and the floodgates opened. Both of them spilt copious tears. Hands alternated between soothing caresses and desperate clutches. Kathryn sobbed onto his shoulder. Chakotay let out ugly howls of anguish. 

"I loved her…" he repeated. 

"You fell in love with me. A long time ago, you fell in love with me. I am her…." 

Their faces were rubbing against each other, and as their distress began to diminish, it was entirely natural that the movements brought their faces closer together. Their lips brushed once or twice. The tension mounted. The nature of the encounter began to change radically. 

Very soon their lips met, and a few soft kisses escalated into hungry exploratory ones. Chakotay now couldn't help himself. A desperate need for comfort and physical release drove him on. In no time, he had pushed her jacket from her shoulders. 

Kathryn wasn't going to play a passive role now that he'd started showing interest. She began with the buttons on his shirt and soon had him naked from the waist up. He allowed her a moment to admire his bronzed physique, before he pulled her top over her head. In seconds, she was in exactly the same state as him. 

Now it was his turn to take a moment to admire her pale and lovely body. She was exactly as he remembered her, he decided. In his eyes, she was beautiful beyond description. There was no way now that he could resist making love to her. 

Finally, he smiled and lifted her into his arms. He carried her through to the bedroom and laid her gently on his bed. The first time they made love, it was hungry and needy. But the second time was slow and tender. As the minutes lengthened to hours, they began to show each other the full extent of their love. 

And he gave her the night she's been hoping for. The night of her dreams. Not exactly a repeat performance, but close enough. 

And he had to concede one thing. Kathryn had been right. He couldn't tell the difference. 

She responded with the same vigour, she felt the same, she sounded the same, she was instilled with the same wonder of discovery of his body. She opened herself to him and pulled him into her body with the same hunger and joy. And she felt the same as she nestled in his arms. They fitted just as perfectly together. His own body responded to hers in exactly the same way. This was satisfaction. This was a joining of body and soul. This was the same culmination of years of longing and deep friendship. This was complete joy. This was just as wonderful as it had been all those months ago on Proxima. 

The following morning, he awoke first and spent sometime admiring her naked body splayed across the bed. Her arms were thrown across the pillow, her hair spilled everywhere. There was so much of it. Her beautiful breasts were visible, pale and gleaming, inviting his touch. The sheet lay in disarray over the lower half of the body. He rejoiced in the spectacle. 

He had never seen so much of his Kathryn. It had been quite dark in his room at Proxima, and Kathryn had risen and left very early. She was dressed before he'd properly woken. He decided that he hadn't had a chance to appreciate what he'd been privileged to touch on that occasion. She really was quite stunning. 

In the end, he could not help responding quite naturally to the presence of this wonderful naked woman in his bed. He kissed her shoulders, her breasts. Then her belly, as she stirred from her sleep, squirming under his lips and the air rang with feminine giggles. He went lower, dove between her legs, and she relaxed her body to allow him access, sighing with delight. 

Suddenly, he sat up. "Oh…God!" he exclaimed, the shock momentarily showing on his face. 

Kathryn sat up in alarm. "What is it? Chakotay, what's the matter?" 

But his expression changed to one of wonder. "I've just realised. I didn't expect…" 

"What?" asked Kathryn, still a little anxious. 

"You taste the same!" he said, with a broad smile. 


	6. Chapter 6

A few more weeks went by, filled with happy love-making. Kathryn was certainly very enthusiastic about the physical side of things to his utter delight, but then again she didn't have a lot else to occupy her time. 

Chakotay found himself as deeply in love as he'd ever been. The two Kathryns began to blur in his memory, to a point where he began to wonder what he'd said and done with which of them. It was becoming hard for him to separate the two of them in his mind. 

Life was suddenly very special again. 

* * *

  


He would often wake first in the morning and spend a long time watching her sleeping form beside him. It was his favourite moment of the day, he decided. He didn't have to wake up and face the day without her anymore. Instead he could let his hand gently wander over her soft skin, plant a few kisses here and there till she roused. Sometimes, he'd make soft tender love with her, teasing her awake with his kisses. Other times, he would come at her with a hunger that almost consumed him. Her responses always matched his though. Her appetite equalled his, and Chakotay didn't think physical intimacy could be any more satisfying or special. He felt himself in a dream world, but there was just one more thing he wanted to complete his happiness. 

"Marry me?" he asked her, as they lay in each others arms, after a soft and reverent coupling. 

She laughed, almost dismissively. "You can't marry a dead person!" 

"You think that bothers me?" 

"Anyway, who's there to marry us? We can't exactly go to Eden and ask her to do the job." 

"No...but we can make plans. There must be somewhere we can arrange it." 

She laughed again. "Engagements don't work for me," she said. "You know that." And that seemed to be the end of the conversation, much to his disappointment. But he wasn't going to let that stop him from asking her again. 

"Marry me?" he asked her on another occasion, just as he had spilled himself into her after a particularly energetic dawn coupling. Kathryn was straddling him as he softened inside her, naked and beautiful, her hair in a tumble on her shoulders. He didn't think she'd ever looked more beautiful. 

Her eyes drifted away from his, and he knew another refusal was in the offing. She made to move off him, but he placed his hands on her shoulders to stop her. "Stay there! Look me in the eye!" he told her. 

Kathryn turned back and looked at him. There was no avoiding this, she had to face it. They were still joined, there was a challenge in the intimacy and there was no escape. They stared at each other for a few moments, his eyes full of hope, hers tinged with regret and pain. His heart contracted and he let his hands drift down to her waist. 

"What is it, Kathryn? What's holding you back?" 

"I can't explain….I don't even know…" 

"It's not like you don't believe in marriage. You've been engaged twice. You surely don't have a problem with commitment." 

"That's just it…they both ended in disaster." 

"Third time lucky!" 

She smiled at this. "You're right, I am lucky...this time. I do love you, Chakotay. And I want this to be forever." 

"And so do I. So why can't we make this official?" 

"Why can't you be happy with the way things are?" 

"Because I'm a spiritual man. I believe that when a man meets the love of his life, then it should be recognised. There should be some sort of sanctification of their union." 

"We're not exactly in a position for that at the moment," she said, finally moving off him. "And I don't want to tempt fate..." 

"But eventually…" 

"Eventually? Who knows what tomorrow may bring?" 

"If we end up on New Earth, we won't be exactly in a position to do anything about it there either." 

"I realise that." 

"Don't think you're going to get away with avoiding this..." 

She glanced at him. "I don't doubt you'll hound me till I give in." 

"You can count on it. And don't you dare think that you'll be tempting fate to take a chance on the dream either. I think you and I should be quite comfortable with flying in the face of fate...after all, your coming here from another universe suggests you're actually the very sort of person who's prepared to do so." 

"I suppose I am." 

"You are," he emphasised, "And you're also an incredibly lucky person…the way we made it through the Delta Quadrant was nothing short of a miracle. By all the odds, we shouldn't have made it." 

"May be I used it all up." 

"Not a bit of it. You're here now, aren't you?" 

"By an elaborate twisting of the odds, yes. Although the other version of me didn't survive long after getting home. She wasn't very lucky." 

"Still, Seven and I survived, which is more than we did in the Admiral's timeline." 

Kathryn looked at him thoughtfully. She knew he meant the timeline that was changed when the older version of herself that had come to bring Voyager home early. "She sacrificed herself for all of us, only to have you and Seven die even earlier in my universe. And in this universe, the younger version of herself died instead. Ironic really." 

"She'd have done it a thousand times over, if she thought it gave a chance for those she cared about to live. It's part of who she was." Kathryn's eyes darkened. He realised that what he'd said had hurt her in some way. "Part of who you are too," he added. 

"Is it? Is that who I am?" 

"At least in part…but I hope, now that we've got this wonderful thing going between us, you'll be a little less reckless with your own life from now on. Maybe you should consider what your well-being means to those who love you. I don't want to lose you." 

"Chakotay, I'm not about to jump on the next Borg cube that comes along, alright?" she commented, slightly irritated that he should question her motives. 

"Well that's a relief. There are not exactly any Borg cubes lying around here anyway." 

"They're here. Somewhere. They always are." 

Chakotay threw himself back on the pillow, with a resigned sigh. "You're probably right. After all, that's what this mission is mainly about…checking to see if the Borg are still a threat." 

"We'll find them…somewhere, somehow. Or they'll find us." 

There was a silence for sometime before Chakotay asked her, "About us getting married….is there something you're not telling me? Something I should know?" 

She uncurled beside him, breathing heavily, and he studied the rise and fall of her chest with admiration. "Nothing. I've tried to be completely honest with you." 

But he wondered. He still wondered if there was something holding her back. He couldn't put his finger on it. He asked her several times to marry him, with no better success. 

* * *

  


Chakotay had spent the morning in astrometrics with Seven, when Kathryn commed him to join her on the holodeck for lunch. The holodeck had often given Kathryn a welcome respite from captivity in his quarters, and Tom and Harry could easily arrange for her to be transported there without arousing suspicion. 

When he entered, he was instantly taken aback to find himself in Venice. He recognised it instantly, and he couldn't decide whether to be angry at this invasion of their history. It was a program Tom had made long, long ago, and held a particular poignancy for them both. In particular, it was a replica of the place where he had waited to meet his Kathryn again. It took him a few moments to collect himself before he engaged the privacy lock. 

It occurred to him immediately that the intention was that he should make his way to the café, the very one that he visited eighteen months ago. The place where he'd sat for two hours waiting for Kathryn. And then Mark had arrived, bearing the worst possible news. His Kathryn was dead. 

He hesitated. Maybe he should leave at once…this was where his soul had been torn apart, and he was shaking at the thought. Somehow he found the strength to put one foot in front of the other and wander along a few canal paths and alleys till he reached the restaurant. 

It was just as he remembered it. Tom had done a brilliant job with the programming. The waiters even looked familiar. 

Kathryn didn't appear to be there, so he took a seat at a table. Thankfully, the one where he'd sat in real life was occupied. He was rather relieved. The waiter came and took his order for a bottle of wine and two glasses, and he settled into his chair. His heart was hammering, even though he knew he wouldn't wait two hours, and he knew Mark wouldn't show in her place. 

He lifted the menu idly, and wondered if he could bear to eat anything. When he lifted his eyes again, she was there. And suddenly, it all seemed so right. 

She was standing outside with her back to the canal watching him with concern. She was wearing black slacks, and a green vest with matching jacket. Her hair was cascading around her shoulders, in a way Kathryn rarely allowed, but he secretly adored. She appeared some wild version of the normally immaculate woman. 

Her mouth twisted apprehensively in a half-smile, and she came forward, taking a seat opposite him. 

"Hello," she began tentatively. 

"Hi," he managed. 

"Look, Chakotay, if this makes you feel uncomfortable, we can end it straight away. Do something different." 

He put the menu down. "I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve…" 

"I thought…maybe it would give you some closure on the past. If I'm wrong…if you can't handle this…please say! We can stop at any moment." He nodded at this. "Tom still had the program. Over there on the terrace is the table where we sat once long ago, and you gave me the mirror." 

" _When in doubt, look here_ ," he quoted the words on the back. 

"And this is the place where you were supposed to meet her, wasn't it?" 

"Yes." 

"Where were you sitting?" 

"Over there, where the lady with the two small children is." 

"Oh. Do you want to move? We can delete the characters." 

"No. I'd rather not have an exact replay." 

"Or go somewhere else?" 

"I've ordered the wine now." 

"Okay. I'll let you decide what happens now." 

He studied her face for a long time, emotions still warring deep inside him. "I broke the mirror," he said sadly. "When Mark came, I dropped it." 

She smiled her sympathy. "You can make another one. Collect some more stones…" 

That idea appealed to him, he decided with a smile. "I could, couldn't I?" 

The waiter brought the wine and they both began sipping on the glorious red liquid. Kathryn swirled hers round in the glass, rather mesmerised by the shining ruby vortex. It gave her something to focus on. Chakotay relaxed, rather mesmerised by her. Perhaps this was a good idea after all. A dream was coming true, in a rather strange sort of way. 

"Do you want a look at the menu?" he asked. 

She looked up, a little surprised. "Do you feel you could eat something?" 

He smiled easily. "Actually, I'm ravenous." 

She took the menu from him, her eyes shining now, as she realised that her gamble had paid off. He was beginning to enjoy this encounter. It had been a good idea after all. 

They ate a wonderful meal, and afterwards strolled the canals and by-ways under the hot afternoon sun. He put his arm round her as they walked and talked. This was exactly as it should have been, exactly what he would have done, if his Kathryn had shown up. 

They took a ride on a gondola, thankful that they could pay the exorbitant prices with holographic credits. Kathryn had brought an imager with her, and they took pictures of each other on the canal, the Rialto Bridge and in St. Mark's Square. They got passers-by to take pictures of the both of them, and Chakotay knew they would have several to grace the frames of his quarters, although he would have to take care who could see them. His room would no longer be so bare. He knew the images would always have a deep significance. They would be a symbol that he had over-written what Venice meant to him. 

"What would you have done now?" she asked, as the afternoon wore on. 

"Well," he answered honestly, "We'd have rented some wonderful hotel room, preferably with a wonderful view, and hardly come out of it for a week." 

"Sounds good to me," she said, turning to face him. 

"We only have the holodeck for another ten minutes, so I guess my quarters will have to do…" 

"Your quarters will be just fine," she admitted. "There's nothing we can do in a hotel room, that we can't do in your quarters." 

"Too true," he said with an interested laugh. "Except leave, of course." 

"Who said anything about leaving? _Hardly come out for a week_ was, I think, how you put it!" she said seductively. She leaned forward, and he easily responded by wrapping his arms around her and drawing her into a deep searching kiss. 

As they broke, he sighed. "Kathryn?" 

"Hmm, hmm…" she answered dreamily. 

"Thank-you." She looked up at him questioningly. "This has been…truly wonderful. I wasn't sure at first…but it was just so beautiful to have you here, in the way I dreamed about. Venice has symbolised heartache for me ever since…well…" 

"And now?" 

"I have you. And that's all I want." 

"Good." 

They kissed again, and she laid her head on his shoulder. 

"Marry me?" 

"Chakotay, we've talked about this." 

"It would make this afternoon perfect…" 

She sighed. "I love you. Isn't that enough?" 

"You know I want more. Why can't we plan our life together?" 

"Who knows where we will be in a few months' time. Life is too uncertain at the moment." 

"You are intending to stay with me?" he asked anxiously. 

"Of course, I am!" 

"Don't leave me, Kathryn. I couldn't bear to lose you now! I don't think I'd survive…" 

"Chakotay, I'm not planning on going anywhere without you. I've risked everything to be here. Why would I want to go?" 

"Then why can't we make some commitment…" 

"I've told you why. I'm useless at engagements. Besides, we got off to such a rocky start…I think I need to be sure you've gotten past thinking of me as a stranger with no right to be here." 

"I've long since stopped thinking of you as some changeling masquerading as my lover. I can hardly separate the two of you in my mind now…" 

"Be honest, Chakotay! Do I have your whole heart?" 

He paused for a few moments, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by Kathryn. 

"Yes. Yes, you do." 

"You hesitated." 

"I had to think about it, yes. But that didn't mean my answer wasn't totally sincere." he ventured, hugging her closer to his chest. "I    love     you," he emphasised, kissing the top of her head and swaying her gently in his arms. 

"I love you too. But I can't marry you just yet. Please just accept that. It's not a never. Someday, when we've found our way somewhere, maybe you'll change my mind." 

He smiled over the top of her head. He was disappointed yet again. Just a little. But not surprised. He realised that the subject had to be dropped for now. And it was to be a very long time before he asked her again. 


	7. Chapter 7

As time passed, the fear of discovery became a terrible burden, and it became expedient to make plans to escape Voyager. Chakotay was terrified that something would happen and Kathryn would be torn away from him again. 

Their plans naturally needed to include their closest friends, all those who were aware of Kathryn's presence on board. Tom and B'Elanna had always intended hiding themselves somewhere, well away from the Klingons back in the Alpha Quadrant intent on ending Miral's life, but so far they had contented themselves with doing so aboard Voyager. They had never felt, even with Captain Eden's covert support, that this could be a long term arrangement. At some time the Fleet would be recalled and they preferred not to leave their decision to the last minute. They'd always intended to disappear somewhere quietly, and it was only Voyager's opportune return to the Delta Quadrant that had stayed their hand. Chakotay and Kathryn couldn't reasonably abandon Seven either, unless she herself was happy to remain, so they called their friends together one evening for a discussion. 

Harry, Seven, the Doctor, Tom and B'Elanna met together in Chakotay's quarters, where he outlined the need for Kathryn and himself to leave the ship. 

Tom and B'Elanna immediately requested to join them. They'd seen it coming, and had had plenty of time to discuss their options. Seven wanted to come too. She wasn't going to let Kathryn Janeway and Chakotay leave her behind. She wouldn't perhaps admit it openly, but she needed their strength and support. And that, of course, led to the Doctor deciding he was with them. 

Which only left Harry, whose parents were back on earth, and whose Starfleet career was on the up. He elected to stay, but wanted to help them in any way he could. 

"I think you'd better leave, Harry," Kathryn told him. 

The young man looked a bit put out. "I'd like to help." 

"I know you would. But you're a lieutenant now," responded Kathryn. "What we're plotting here is highly irregular, to put it mildly…so the less you know about it, the better. If they found out you knew what we were planning, it could ruin your career. I don't want to do that to you." 

Harry let out a resigned breath. He wanted to be of use. "If there's anything…" 

"We'll let you know," said Chakotay. 

"Okay." 

"We won't leave without saying goodbye," said Kathryn. 

Harry gave a weak smile. He didn't want to part with his friends. 

"Well, promise me you'll think this through carefully…that you won't take any unnecessary risks." 

"We won't," said Tom. "Now…shoo!" 

"Alright, alright," responded Harry. "I know when I'm not wanted." And he left them to it. 

"We don't expect you all to give up your lives here to come with us," Kathryn told those remaining. "This is a major step, and I can't ask you to do it. If anyone else wants to stay behind, please say now." 

"We're coming, Admiral," said Tom. "We've made up our minds." 

"Tom," said Kathryn gently, "We're contemplating a felony here. I think you'd better drop the _Admiral_ part. Call me Kathryn." 

Tom smiled. "Okay…Kathryn." It felt strange to him, but strangely pleasing. 

Kathryn smiled at him. The man had come such a long way from the wayward young youth she had first taken aboard Voyager. "The Tom Paris in my universe is a captain now. Are you sure you want to throw away your career over this?" 

"A Captain?" asked Tom, hugely interested and a little shocked. 

"Yes…he has a small starship under his command. Although he and B'Elanna haven't had to deal with a murderous band of Klingons on their tail. Maybe you could make Captain before long…" 

"Maybe I could…but without my wife and daughter at my side, it would mean nothing. To have them with me would eventually put their lives in too much danger." 

"We've thought about this for a long time," said B'Elanna. "Tom and I both agree that staying here aboard Voyager is only a temporary solution for us. We both knew we would have to move on eventually. If Voyager ever returns to the Alpha Quadrant, and it will, we cannot go back. We were going to have to go it alone, stay behind on the most suitable planet by ourselves. We are actually heartened by the fact that we might do this with you. We're moving up the timing, I know, but don't think for a moment we'd let this opportunity slip by." 

Kathryn smiled her acceptance at them. They had very good reasons for coming with her, and they both seemed determined on this course of action. She wasn't going to put up any further argument. She turned her gaze. "Are you sure about this, Seven?" 

"I am with you," answered the younger woman. "There is nothing back on Earth for me since my Aunt Irene died. Voyager has been my collective for the last six years and the people in this room the core of that collective. I have no wish for any other." 

"Then you're going to need a physician wherever you end up. I'm volunteering my services," interjected the Doctor. 

"I think you had better accept we're all coming with you," said B'Elanna. 

Kathryn smiled. "I guess that's settled." 

"We're going to need a bigger shuttle," said Chakotay. 

The faces around the room regarded him seriously, all sobering to the uncomfortable thought that absconding with a Starfleet shuttle was no minor matter. 

"I have brought a significant amount of hard currency with me, but what I have will hardly buy the port nacelle of a larger shuttle," commented Kathryn. 

"We can't buy one. Okay. We know that. Even if we could, we'd probably have to explain what we want it for. So we have to borrow one or steal it," B'Elanna admitted. 

"It depends very much on where we go, and whether we would find a way to return it," said Tom. There were nods all round the room. "Where are we headed?" 

"There are a number of options," answered Kathryn. "Chakotay and I had been considering New Earth, but now the rest of you are joining us, I believe we must dismiss that option. It would not be fair on any of you to risk contracting the disease carried by insects...even though the Doctor found a cure from the Vidiians. We have to go where there is some sort of civilisation for Miral's sake. We cannot allow her to grow up as the only child among us adults. The ramifications for when she is older are too awful to contemplate." 

"Agreed," said Tom. "But I, for one, don't fancy a lifetime on an asteroid with a whole company of Talaxians. Three weeks would be enough for anyone!" 

The wistful smiles from the others suggested that they whole-heartedly agreed with him, but hardly dared say so. 

"We stopped at many welcoming places," said Tom. "We tend to forget because we encountered so many horrors out here. Our judgement was clouded." 

"There's one very obvious place. Too obvious, regrettably. But we have to find a way to make it work for us," commented Kathryn, looking thoughtful. "Briori." 

"It's the perfect place for us," said B'Elanna. "To be honest, it's been top of our list for some time." 

Chakotay added, "There's a thriving colony of humans there. An idyllic civilisation. Three beautiful cities. Over two hundred thousand people. They are not strictly the Briori…they were the aliens that had abducted them. But that is the name of their planet. Nine years ago, they were more than willing for any of us to stay behind. Assuming nothing's changed, we could have happy lives there." 

"Human life-signs would be lost amongst all those people, even if anyone could scan through the trinimbic interference," remarked Kathryn. "Klingon life-signs would be the problem, but, if you remember, we did not detect any sign of life from orbit, and transporters were not functional. We had to land the ship to get down. Anyone coming after us would have to land too. It would enable us to set some kind of defence plan in place." 

"So for quality of life and for strategic defence, it's the place we have to go for. Do we all agree?" asked Chakotay. 

There was a chorus of positive comments. 

"So we're faced with one major problem," Kathryn remarked. "The records of our journey through the Delta Quadrant were very detailed. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that it's pretty near certain that Eden will guess where we've gone. It'll only be a matter of time before they catch up with us." 

"Making contact with the human colony on Briori is one of the mission objectives," said Tom. 

"It wouldn't be a problem, if we weren't thinking of absconding with Starfleet property. If we were just jumping ship, quitting our posts, it wouldn't matter," said Chakotay. 

"Could we wait till we come by Briori naturally?" asked B'Elanna. 

"I don't see that as a viable option," said Chakotay. "I don't see how we can hide Kathryn for maybe a year or more...and her cover would almost certainly be blown once we arrived and attempted the transfer." 

"So we try B'Elanna's trick," said the Doctor. "We take a shuttle for some legitimate reason, and blow it up, feigning our deaths?" 

"It's not going to work," said Kathryn. "For one, we'd need another shuttle for our escape. Where are we going to get one out here, let alone two? Second, Eden would smell a rat. It's been done before. She already knows you feigned B'Elanna and Miral's death in a shuttle accident. She's going to work it out and come after us." 

"You don't know that for sure," said B'Elanna. 

"Oh, I do. That's what would go through my head, if I was still in her seat." 

There was sombre agreement to this. 

"She's been pretty supportive of Tom and myself so far. Maybe we should come clean with her," offered B'Elanna.

"True, but we can't take the risk," said Chakotay.

"So faking our deaths is not an option," said Tom. "We have to borrow a shuttle. Maybe we can send it back, with a homing beacon, when we get there." 

"And a note of apology?" asked B'Elanna, with a hint of amusement. 

"We'll need to keep the shuttle," advised Kathryn, "At least until we've replicated enough parts to construct one of our own. We'll need to keep open the option of moving elsewhere. If our cover is blown, if the Briori don't give us sanctuary..." 

"They'll give us sanctuary…unless they've changed significantly in nine years. You got on rather well with Amelia Earhardt, didn't you?" said Tom, looking at Kathryn. 

"So did you!" said B'Elanna huffily. "I can still remember the two of you huddled over the helm!" 

"We borrow the shuttle," repeated Tom, ignoring his wife's irritation. "I'll arrange for us to go on a legitimate away mission, or prolonged shore leave. It'll buy us time. They won't miss us for maybe two weeks. We'll be able to get away, cover our tracks. It will take us ten days or so to reach Briori with the slip-stream drive. When we get overdue, we can deliver a message to Eden. B'Elanna can bury it in the ship's computer where it won't be found before we want it to be delivered. It'll contain our resignations from Starfleet...those of us who still officially work for them. We can tell her it is our intention to return the shuttle to Starfleet. It can be retrieved whenever the Fleet happen to drop by. She will, as you say, figure out where we're likely to have gone. But I think we have to trust Eden part way. She's not an entirely an unsympathetic person. She understands B'Elanna and Miral's predicament, and I doubt she'll report us to HQ. She knows she might be risking their lives, if she did so…and believe it or not…she already blames herself for sending you to your death, Kathryn…although she was only doing her job." 

"She doesn't know I'm here." 

"No, and that's a big thing in our favour. If she knew you were here, she'd be after us like a shot. She wouldn't wait till the fleet just happens by. She'd know what a valuable commodity you are to this Federation. You're far too big a fish for Starfleet to let slip through the net. In fact, she'd probably have you on a transport back to the Alpha Quadrant already, if she knew you were here. As things are, I think she'll play it cool," finished Tom. 

"Aren't we taking a huge gamble here?" asked Chakotay. "In supposing that Eden will turn a blind eye once she has the shuttle back? She could blow our cover. If the slightest hint of Miral or Kathryn's existence surfaces in the Alpha Quadrant, it could be disastrous for all of us." 

"Maybe, but I don't see we have much choice. I've served as her First Officer for a long time now, and she'll have Harry's brain to pick. Don't forget, he's on our side. She'll honour any asylum agreement we make with the Briori, I'm pretty near certain. Admiral Batiste is a different matter. He would sell us out like a shot, but, fortunately for us, Eden doesn't trust her ex-husband either. No, she'll keep things to herself and bide her time. She'll want to keep this cookie to herself. She'll wait till the fleet come by Briori naturally, then she'll take a damned good look at what's going on there. My money's on six months. We can use the time to prepare some sort of early warning system and evasion strategy. They'll almost certainly have to take a shuttle down to the ground...Voyager is the only ship with landing capability. They won't be able to scan or transport through the trinimbic interference. We'll just have to ensure any Klingon life-signs are still invisible when they get to the surface. And keep Kathryn out of sight. I guess, Seven and the Doc too. It will be up to you and me, Chakotay, to stay outside and act as scouts and assess the situation." 

"We can hide the girls and the Doctor in the mines…where we found the 37's," Chakotay suggested. "Use the stasis units, if necessary." 

"That would be perfect. Harry and few others know where they are, but they're not going to spill the beans. We can delete any reference to location in the logs before we leave. We could set up a secure hiding place there, supplies and everything they need for a few days, if they need to lie low for a while," answered Tom. 

"Sounds like a plan to me," said Kathryn. 

* * *

  


It took another five weeks for Tom to organise two weeks leave for himself, Seven and the Doctor. Chakotay elected to go with them, and naturally they took, albeit unofficially, B'Elanna and Miral with them. With such a number, it was unsurprising that they took the largest of Voyager's shuttlecraft. 

As they stowed their goods and prepared to depart, there was a certain amount of nervous tension. Tom, sitting at the helm, entered the names of the passengers on the manifest. It would be fed back to the data banks on Voyager. He completed the list and hit enter. 

" _Warning: number of lifesigns aboard exceeds passenger manifest_ ," came the tinny voice of the computer. 

Tom sighed. He had expected this. Despite the devices that masked Kathryn, B'Elanna and Miral's vital signs, the computer had obviously detected additional distinct heat signatures. 

"Girls?" called Tom. 

Kathryn grimaced at the thought of being called a _girl_ by Tom Paris. The _girls_ , however, knew exactly what was expected of them. B'Elanna solemnly handed Miral to Seven, who clasped the infant close to her. Kathryn and B'Elanna came forward to where Tom and Chakotay were sat side by side at the controls. B'Elanna slid herself onto Tom's lap and let her head drop onto his shoulder. 

Kathryn hesitated for a moment, as she contemplated the exhibition she was making of herself, then straddled Chakotay and nestled in close. 

"Computer, scan again for lifesigns and verify passenger manifest," canted Tom. 

They held their breath for a few seconds, while the computer rescanned the shuttle. " _Passenger manifest accepted_ ," came the response. 

"Thank- you!" said Tom, with a hint of sarcasm and hit the controls to prepare for departure. Tom knew that, if Eden suspected anything because the computer had scanned twice, it would put down to keeping B'Elanna and Miral's presence a secret. Kathryn and B'Elanna removed themselves from their respective partners and took their seats. The secret passengers had been careful not to speak, in case anyone was listening to, or would in the future, the voice transcripts. 

The hatch was closed and they got under way. None of them looked back at Voyager. They were all anxious for a clean getaway, and the ship did not feel like the home to them that it had been during their first time in the Delta Quadrant. She was not Kathryn's ship anymore, nor even Chakotay's, and somehow she was the less for it. 

They needn't have worried. Everything went according to plan, and although things got a little claustrophobic and tempers were occasionally frayed, the slip-stream drive worked perfectly. This was pretty close to being a family unit searching the stars for a new home, and ten days later they found themselves in orbit above Briori. They had to wait a further two days for the turbulence in the atmosphere to afford them a window to the surface and then they put down in an unpopulated region some forty miles from the largest of the three cities. After securing the shuttle, they used transporters to relocate to the suburbs. They walked to the government building and introduced themselves, demanding to see Ms. Earhardt and Mr. Evansville. 

And so it was that Kathryn Janeway, after a gap of nine years, found herself face to face once again with Amelia Earhardt. 

The former aviator had aged a little since they'd last met, but then so had the travellers. She greeted them with a crooked smile that was strikingly similar to Kathryn's. In the meantime, she had become Mrs. Noonan, once both she and Fred had gotten used to the notion that their respective spouses had died over three hundred years ago. 

Showing no surprise at their return…she was firmly of the opinion that Briori was a much more delightful place to live than earth…her opening words to the refugees were: "What kept you so long?" 


	8. Chapter 8

_Eight months later on Briori_

  


Even though they'd expected it, it still came as quite a shock to the happy band of fugitives when the alarm system they'd rigged up told them there was a ship of some kind in orbit. 

There was no time to waste, so the women and the Doctor were bundled off to the caves where the 37's had been found. Tom and Chakotay travelled to a neutral place, well away from their new homes, to await news from the Briorian security services and make an assessment of the situation. They had been assured that they would be protected with asylum status by the ruling council, but they knew equally that Briori had no defences to hold out against the weaponry of the Federation. 

The plan to hide the women and the Doctor in the caves at the first hint of danger had been put in place right from the outset. It would avoid the possibility of any of them being abducted by transporter, once away teams began to arrive on the surface. They knew they couldn't be transported or scanned from any ship in orbit, because of the trinimbic interference, so they were only in danger of being detected by troops on the ground. B'Elanna and Miral would be particularly vulnerable, as their lifesigns would differ from that of the indigenous population. They still had their devices for masking their vital signs, but they had no means of testing them and no-one wanted to take any unnecessary risks. The Doctor's mobile emitter could also be easily picked up on scanners, and he had no less a reason to want to evade being reacquired by Starfleet personnel. No-one wanted Seven's Borg implants attracting attention on scanners either. 

They had also considered placing the women in the disused stasis chambers, so that there would be no heat signatures showing up even if hostiles entered the cave system. To all intents and purposes, the cave system would appear unoccupied. The Doctor could then deactivate himself and await rescue. Also the chambers were well hidden, and it would be pretty nigh impossible for anyone without knowledge of their whereabouts to find them. 

When it came to it, however, this option was quickly ruled out. 

"I cannot sanction the use of the stasis chambers," said the Doctor, as they stood in the gloomy light surveying the small section of the cave network they had chosen for their sanctuary. For a while no-one answered him, because the idea of being put in stasis was not appealing. 

"It always was a last resort…in case things went really badly on the surface and unfortunately we can't keep in contact with Tom and Chakotay from in here," said Kathryn, well aware that B'Elanna and Miral had much more to lose than she had. Their lives were at risk, if ever the renegade Klingons got wind of their whereabouts. She only risked imprisonment. "But it's your call, B'Elanna…if you feel you'd rather take no risks.." 

"I can't use the stasis chamber," said B'Elanna, hugging a wriggling and protesting Miral closer to her, in an effort to prevent her from escaping. 

"What Ms. Torres means is…she can't risk the health of the infant she is carrying!" announced the Doctor. 

"It is a perfectly safe procedure," commented Seven. "Your fears are ungrounded." 

"It is a perfectly safe procedure. But it will be unnecessarily distressing for Miral," said Kathryn. There was a silence, as Kathryn's gaze flipped between B'Elanna's look of moderate annoyance and the Doctor's rather sheepish expression. One of Kathryn's eyebrows went up, almost Tuvok style. "B'Elanna?" 

"Alright, I'm pregnant!" burst out B'Elanna. "Four months along…" 

There was a chorus of delight and a round of hugs in response to this. 

"Well, that settles that!" continued Kathryn. "We cannot risk using the stasis chambers. We have to hope things go well outside." 

"You can still use them," offered B'Elanna. "Miral and I can wait out here. There's no need for you to take any unnecessary risks yourselves on our account." 

"Nonsense!" answered Kathryn. "We're in this together. If you're staying out, then we all are. We were probably being ultra cautious anyway." 

Seven agreed to this, and fortunately they had laid in emergency supplies to sustain them in the event of a long seclusion. There was nothing else to be done, except to sit it out and await news from the surface. 

* * *

  


By the time Captain Eden led an away team to the Briori planet surface, the girls and the Doctor had already been in hiding for five hours. Tom and Chakotay had been quietly biding their time at a hostelry in the main city. 

A Starfleet shuttle landed a few miles out of the city centre, where Amelia Noonan, as she was now called, John Evansville and the ruling council met the visitors warmly. It seemed they were open to the initiation of contact with the Alpha Quadrant, willing to consider that the benefits outweighed the drawbacks of being designated a Federation outpost. They had had ample time to discuss the matter, having been aware since their other visitors arrived that they would be offered colonial status. It meant there would be many more Federation citizens on their way. And it also meant that some of their citizens could realistically consider returning to earth. 

They were at pains to point out that they were not actually the Briori…that had been the name of the aliens who had abducted them, but the planet they lived on still went by that name. Though they had named their cities and settlements, they had never given a name to the entire colony, and now it seemed they would have to consider whether they wished to be designated Briori. The name obviously had some troubling historical associations, but not in the living memory of its present inhabitants. 

They vehemently denied knowledge of any refugees, even though Captain Eden was able to point out that their scanners had now detected traces of a Federation shuttlecraft. Amelia Noonan assured her that this was likely the wreckage of a shuttlecraft from Voyager's first visit, and Captain Eden, who knew better than to believe this story, allowed it to pass. Instead, she asked to speak to Amelia and John alone, and in private advised them that she knew the visitors were here, and she understood their willingness to protect them. She assured them she would respect any asylum the Briori were willing to offer their visitors. She had no quarrel with the fugitives, if they were willing to return the shuttlecraft. She could easily send an away team to recover the vehicle, whether it was one of Voyager's current shuttlecraft or one from years ago. 

Amelia Noonan appeared to consider the request, but told Captain Eden that she could not wander about on Briori just as she pleased. They would not grant permission for a team to go to the sector Eden indicated, and she would certainly violate local laws, if she did so. Any such attempt would be dealt with very harshly. She would however put her in touch with a man who might be able to assist her. He would see her on condition she went alone. 

His name was Thomas Marseilles. 

They want their anonymity, thought Eden with a wry smile. Very well. She could play this game. 

* * *

  


Tom Marseilles had been working underneath his Chevvy when she came. He knew she would come. He had been expecting her, and he had given Amelia Noonan permission to bring her, if she appeared to be convinced of their presence and agreed to his conditions. 

Eden was alone, he noted, which boded well for their discussion. Things were going according to plan. The Briori had managed the arrangements efficiently. They'd purposefully prevented her from seeing where they were taking her, transporting her in a windowless vehicle. She was dumped outside an unremarkable lock-up and told to go in. 

Tom took his time before emerging from his hiding place, making some show of apparent unconcern about her visit. Truth was, however, a lot hung on Eden's reaction to their presence here. 

"Tom?" 

That's good, he thought. First name terms. He stood with a smile, and wiped his hands on his trousers. 

"Captain.." He offered his hand, and she took it. 

"Oh…Afsarah will do…" 

"For the record, I am Thomas Marseilles." 

"I understand. This…is a little different," she said, smiling as she gazed around the garage. "Not quite the high technology you are used to." 

"Oh, I assure you I am quite within my element here. There are many people here who think this is the ultimate in transportation, and I'm not inclined to disagree with them." 

"Even so, the sudden influx of strangers with such superior knowledge must have caused some problems." 

"Well, there have been a few tensions, a little resentment in some places, but mostly we've been welcomed with open arms." 

"You knew we'd come, didn't you? Sooner or later." 

"Yes. I suppose you want your shuttle back?" 

"That would be a step in the right direction." 

"It's hidden in the northern forest, safe and sound. Minus the replicator, at present. We wouldn't have taken it, if there had been any other way. And just so you know, we're well on the way to constructing our own version of the Delta Flyer." 

Eden nodded. She wasn't surprised. "I'd like my First Officer back." 

"That's not going to happen." 

"You intend to stay?" 

"Yes. This is an idyllic place to raise a family. B'Elanna's pregnant again, you know." 

"Congratulations." 

"Thanks. There's nothing you can do to persuade us to leave." 

Eden gave a weak smile. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I haven't gotten to know you all that well, Tom, but even I understand why you feel you have to protect your loved ones. Perhaps I would do the same thing in your position." 

"I am glad you see it that way…we did consider faking an explosion and hoping everyone would think we were dead…but the consensus was that you would have smelt a rat." 

"Yes, I would," she agreed with a smile. "Given you'd already tried that trick." 

"This way, you get your shuttle back, and hopefully no-one back in the Alpha Quadrant will ever know that B'Elanna and Miral are alive and well." 

"No, they won't. As far as I can tell, the Klingons you fear have swallowed the story and gone quiet. I doubt they'll come looking here. I will let you know, if I pick up on anything. And just so you know, only Harry and I have any suspicion of where you are...I've kept it out of my logs. None of our scans have detected any Klingon life-signs...so you can tell B'Elanna and Miral it's safe to come out. We're done investigating here. Harry Kim is the only one beside myself who knows the shuttle is here at present. As far as anyone else knows, this planet has come up clean on any scans. Nobody else knows I'm even here, and I certainly won't let my ex-husband in on this." 

Tom looked at her in surprise. "Don't be surprised," Eden continued. "I learned a lot from my predecessor, Kathryn Janeway. Enough to know that always going by the book is not always the best way forward. If she hadn't been able to think outside the box, you would never have made it back from the Delta Quadrant in the first place. Her logs are very...informative." 

Tom cast down his eyes in regret. "Yes, she was something else." 

"I know, Tom," Eden said gently. "I worked it out. This is about more than just B'Elanna and Miral. If that's all it had been, you could have just asked me for the loan of a shuttlecraft, and you know I'd have let you have it. No, there were a few anomalies in the computer read-outs…all easily explained away, but I've learned to read between the lines. We had an extra body on board for a few weeks...beside B'Elanna and Miral, I mean...although how she evaded detection I'd love to know. And then, rather surprisingly, some Minozians contacted me asking the whereabouts of Chakotay. And had I seen Admiral Janeway recently? I assured them I had not. But I put two and two together." 

Tom stiffened and looked her in the eye, trying to figure out where this was leading. "And came up with three and a half." 

"Probably. I guess you're never going to tell me everything. But, relax. I told them Chakotay was utterly distraught at Janeway's death and was digging vegetables somewhere in Arizona. No-one knew his exact whereabouts, and that Janeway was well and truly dead, not an atom left of her after the Borg cube exploded. Pretty spectacular end really, and they couldn't dispute it, could they? They won't make it out here…the Minozians don't have slipstream drive, and I doubt the Federation is going to give it them. Not after their now undisputed meddling with the inter-universal portal. Besides, I suspect they've had to clear off back to face Federation disapproval and possible retaliation on their side of the window, so they've more than enough other problems of their own. The Minozians on this side are probably in the same boat, so I doubt the portal will be opened again in a long time. I think you're probably quite safe here, and I'm not about to sell you off to the highest bidder." 

Tom smiled, relaxing his guard a little. "Thank you. It means a lot." 

"Besides, I've met with Ms. Earhardt…" 

"Mrs. Noonan now." 

"Ah yes. I get the impression the Briorians are more than willing to defend you, should anyone try to take you away." 

"They've granted us sanctuary." 

"And why wouldn't they? You've arrived with two first class engineers…anyone can see for themselves the difference that's already made around here…plus the designer of the original Delta Flyer and an expert in holo-technology to boot, expertise beyond their wildest imagination, a stolen space shuttle and an EMH. You must have arrived like some proverbial Father Christmas." 

"It'll take a while. If you could let us keep some replicator technology, it would help a lot. The prime directive would cease to apply to what is essentially a forgotten human outpost." 

"Pushing it, Tom?" 

"Maybe." 

"Well, as it happens, part of our brief was to seek out this beleaguered human settlement and offer the hand of friendship. We wish to establish some sort of Federation outpost. So naturally we would offer some technology. I can see the advantage of leaving it in the hands of experts. We would have had to have left a team to work with the Briorians anyway. So you'll get your replicators, transporters. We even have two shuttlecraft at your disposal. And of course we will want to establish long distance communications with the Alpha Quadrant." 

"Have the Briorians any objection to this?" 

"No. I have already discussed it at length with Ms…Mrs. Noonan and Mr. Evansville. They have some concerns, which is only natural. But you seem to have earned their trust, which is a great advantage. She seems to think that a certain Mr. Amal would make a good ambassador for the colony. You and I both know she means Chakotay. I intend to ask him." 

"He may agree. But you will have to let him use his other name." 

"Indeed. Perhaps you could arrange for him to meet me." 

"I'll do that." 

"Good, although I'm afraid I must insist you return the EMH to us. He's Starfleet property. He's far too valuable a commodity to leave in an outpost like this." 

Tom rose to the challenge. "And I'm afraid you're going to have to find some excuse to leave him. We're none of us here, remember? And have you forgotten they granted him autonomy? I think you'll find he has very strong objections to being removed from here." 

"I'd forgotten his rather strong attachment to you all. Well, maybe I can make a concession. Get me the mobile emitter and I'll let him stay." 

"No!" said Tom, emphatically. "It's his property. He's been granted sole ownership. The Briorians have given him sanctuary on an equal footing with the rest of us." 

"Understandable, I suppose. They'll never have had a doctor with anything like the skills he has." Eden sighed. "Well, get me Janeway then." 

"Janeway's dead." 

"I mean the version that's very much alive." 

"I cannot comprehend what you are talking about. I have never at any point given you the impression that there is any version of Janeway around here, living or dead." 

Eden grinned. "No you haven't. But our conversation just now would have been a nonsense, if it weren't true." 

"Well, there you have it. We have been talking nonsense." 

"We both know I could make a convincing case for her existence, if I so wished." 

Tom looked her squarely in the eyes. "If such a person existed, then let me tell you there are people around here that would die rather than let you drag them off." 

Eden looked at him amused. "Such fierce loyalty! All of you seem to view her as near deity. I never stood a chance of filling her shoes, did I?" Since Tom clearly wasn't going to answer this, she continued, "I've no intention of dragging her off, as you so brazenly put it. That's why I've kept things to myself. I just want to talk to her…just as we are now. Could you persuade her, do you think?" 

Tom pursed his lips. "We don't owe you anything. You have your shuttle back. Take it and leave us alone." 

"You want to be left alone? I understand that. But this is the price. I want Janeway. Don't make this difficult. I could be a useful ally, you know. I could have my ears and eyes open for any move made by the Klingons or the Minozians. In my position, it would be easy to access information without arousing suspicion." 

Tom looked at her thoughtfully. She had a point. "I could also give you an early warning system, that would tell you if any ships came into orbit. Improve the defence capabilities of the planet." 

"You would have to agree that with the government here." 

"Yes, I would. The negotiations are well underway. But on a personal level, I could be useful to your little band of outlaws too. Think about it, Tom! An ally still in Starfleet, ready to deflect any unseemly interest in what's going on here could work to your advantage." 

Tom appeared to capitulate. "Be here tomorrow at the same time and someone may be prepared to speak to you about this matter, although I can make no promises. You must come alone and unarmed." 

Eden nodded with relief. "Very well. Tomorrow morning. I'll be here." 

"How's Harry?" 

"He's good. Acting First Officer." 

"How's that working out?" 

"We're getting there. He's the only one on board who knows about Janeway. You were right to exclude him from your plans. He's not a very accomplished liar." Tom gave a small laugh at this. "And at least that way he didn't wreck his career over all this. I'll watch out for him, though. Because all records of B'Elanna, Chakotay and Seven ever having been on board have been erased. I saw to that. And those that knew B'Elanna was there, will keep quiet. They know what's at stake. No, he and I are the only ones left that were aware that Janeway ever resurfaced. He and I could move the shuttle, so that records say we picked it up elsewhere with no sign of the missing personnel." 

"You'd do that?" 

"Yes. I'm intelligent enough to know that this can work both ways. As I said, I'll let you know, if I pick up on anything that could put you in danger." 

"Thank you." 

"I'm sure Harry would like to see you all." 

"Send him down this afternoon." 

"Good. Well, I'll see you tomorrow." 

"No, you won't see me. Come here and wait." 

Eden nodded. "Good luck, Tom." 


	9. Chapter 9

True to her word, Eden sent two shuttlecraft only a matter of hours later, together with several replicator units and the bare bones of a holo-suite. By nightfall, Tom had a long list of prospective candidates for piloting lessons. 

And she sent Harry. The young man spent a good few happy hours with his former colleagues, and promised to visit again, if he ever got the opportunity. 

The following day, Eden found herself waiting once again in the dim light of the lock-up, wondering if her visitor would show. The Briori once again had been quite meticulous in searching her for weapons and ensuring she went alone. The fugitives from the Alpha Quadrant had certainly fallen among friends here. 

Even so, it was touch and go whether her visitor would appear. For Janeway to show her face would be to admit to her presence in this universe, something she had only so far done with a few very trusted people. Eden knew full well that she had yet to earn a place among such a select crowd. Yet she hoped for success. Janeway was an invaluable source of knowledge to the Federation, and she wanted to ensure that it would stay that way. 

She eyed Tom's Chevy with amusement. She'd heard of his past obsession with antique cars, and he certainly had the freedom to indulge his passion now. The black paintwork gleamed from lavish attention, and she didn't resist the urge to run her fingers over the wheel casing. 

Her meeting with "Mr. Amal" had proven very fruitful. He had all the qualities of a diplomat, yet would be a tough negotiator for the Briori. They had chosen well. He was a man, who would know if they were being short-changed by the Federation in any way. This did not bother Eden. This abandoned pocket of humanity deserved all the help they could get. He would have to disguise himself, if he ever met any Federal representatives, and she would respect his wishes for his true identity to remain undisclosed. 

She had paced the darkened garage for well over half an hour, when she sensed a presence behind her. The hairs on the back of her neck began to prickle. 

She inclined her head slightly when she felt warm breath on the side of her face. 

"Don't turn round," came the deep rich voice behind her ear. 

"Kathryn Janeway! We meet again." 

"You are mistaken. We have never met before." 

"Ah…but I have met your alter ego," said Eden, attempting to turn. 

"I told you not to turn round!" Kathryn said fiercely. 

Eden turned back. "Look…Kathryn. There's no need for all this cloak and dagger stuff. I'm unarmed. If I was going to sell you out, I would have done so by now." 

"Plausible deniability." 

"What?" 

"You've never seen me. I plan on it staying that way." 

"I'd recognise that voice anywhere." 

"You are letting your imagination run wild. I told you, we have never met. My name is Shannon O'Donnell." 

"That's what you want me to call you. Fine. But I have a strong suspicion as to who you are and where you came from." 

"This is wasting my time. I didn't ask for this meeting." 

"No. But you came because you realised it might be to your benefit." 

"You have five minutes." 

"Does it occur to you that I might be useful to you? You are…whichever way you want to look at it…vulnerable. The Federation may respect the sanctuary the Briori have offered you, but I doubt the Minozians would, nor that unruly band of Klingons that has it in for B'Elanna Torres." 

"Is that a threat?" 

"No," said Eden hastily. "No. What I meant was, it could be useful to you to have someone in a position to keep an eye on things in the Alpha Quadrant for you. I could keep my ear to the ground. Warn you, if either group shows any sign of entering the Delta Quadrant." 

"And why should I trust you?" 

"I don't think you have much choice. Unless you're about to do away with me….but that's not your style. You may be a loose cannon, you may have thrown every Starfleet principle out the window, but you're not a cold blooded murderer. Your record shows a woman of compassion, and I believe she's still there deep down." 

"The woman you are talking about is dead." 

"Have it your way. She is dead. But she was a terribly fascinating person. I feel I got to know her a little. I met her a few times…and I've spent a lot of time studying her logs. Kathryn Janeway was something of a maverick. She used to have strong principles but they became blurred over the years. Perhaps mine would have too under the circumstances. Just surviving out here in isolation must have taken its toll. She ended up with unprecedented knowledge about the Delta Quadrant, the Borg, slipstream drive…the list is endless. Nobody else, save for Jean-Luc Picard, had that amount of experience in the upper echelons of Starfleet. Then she went and got herself tragically killed. It was a terrible loss on a personal level for those who loved her…and her entire crew loved her fiercely. It's hard to imagine loyalty on that scale, and many a captain would give a lot to learn the secret, although surviving the odds alone in the Delta Quadrant had a good deal to do with that. But it was a terrible loss on a strategic level too…all that knowledge, all that experience wiped out in a few terrible seconds. The Federation lost something of incredible value too. 

Imagine, if you will, there was another person with all that knowledge, who had come from another existence, who to all intents and purposes, was the exact copy of the dead Kathryn Janeway…so much so that her friends and loved ones could not tell the difference, accepted her as an exact reincarnation. Imagine she had not only all that knowledge of the Borg and the Delta Quadrant, but understood the mechanics of an inter-universal portal built by the Minozians, had tried and tested it as well. If such a person existed, then she would be a valuable commodity, don't you think? Someone whom the Federation would give anything to have working on their side, or else prefer to keep under lock and key to prevent her knowledge falling into enemy hands." 

"What are you saying?" 

"Oh…I know my idea would sound far-fetched to some…and I may not have figured out all the details, but I believe that person exists and she's standing in the room with me now." 

"I would prefer not to comment." 

"That is fine by me, but you will allow me to continue?" 

"Please do." 

"You are a dangerous woman, Kathryn. If what you know fell into the wrong hands, there could be fleets of warriors crossing the inter-universal barriers….maybe even war between universes." 

Kathryn swallowed. Eden was right. That's why Starfleet had sent her to spy on the Minozians in the first place. "It is my every intention to live out my life quietly here, and devote myself to engineering projects. There is plenty for me to do." 

"I thought as much. But you could certainly benefit from Federation protection." 

"I have no wish to draw attention to my presence here." 

"No…but the Briori, or to be precise, the inhabitants of Briori are on the verge of accepting Federation status…there are only a few dissenters. Some want to keep things as they are…an idyllic colony living in isolation, untroubled by the rest of the universe. This truly is a beautiful planet with so much potential. But the majority realise that there are bad guys out there, and ultimately they will need the protection of a far more powerful organisation. They've yet to meet the Hirogen, the Vidiians, the Kazon…and God forbid, the Borg. But they've seen enough to surmise what that might entail. This is essentially a defenceless colony. I know you bring substantial understanding of defence technology, are more than capable of rigging up your own systems…but we can provide much, much more. Hardware, for instance. Like a sensor net, that will mask Klingon life-signs. You can all be protected under the umbrella of the Briori. No-one need ever know of your existence, except a trusted few. Harry, me and one or two back at Starfleet headquarters. 

We can liaise with Mr. Amal. He's a changed man, by the way. I cannot equate him with the dark haunted man I saw on Voyager. Your presence has worked wonders. I had a very fruitful conversation yesterday, and I know he's going to make an excellent ambassador for Briori. If we need to contact each other, we can go through him. No real names need ever be mentioned. But I want the Federation to be able to tap into your vast knowledge when they need it. And I know enough about you to know that you are at heart devoted to Starfleet and all that it stands for. You may have thrown your principles to the wall, but you are not an unprincipled woman. I admire you intensely, for what you have achieved, your devotion to your crew, everything you went through…all add up to someone quite incredible. I don't think I'll ever achieve a fraction of what you've done, nor could I ever hope to engender the devotion in my crew that you did. Some of it is down to circumstances, I know, but you are one remarkable woman. I understand why you have done what you have done, why you have finally broken the promise you made to Starfleet. If I had a love like that I would most probably have done the same. So I am surmising that deep down you would wish to help the Federation, if at all possible." 

"You are correct in your supposition. But I don't see how it is possible without breaking my cover." 

"You have to trust me. As I said, only Harry, I and a few trusted people at Starfleet HQ will know of your existence. And they do not have to know where you are." 

There was a long silence, before Kathryn answered. "Owen Paris is dead. He is the only one I would have trusted." 

"Montgomery." 

"Oh?" 

"Despite appearances to the contrary, his heart is in the right place…and I can handle this without putting you and your friends at risk. He need never know where you are. I can see to that. I will ensure Harry and I are the only possible intermediaries. Trust me, Kathryn!" 

"Shannon." 

"Shannon," Eden corrected. 

"Do I have a choice?" 

"I'd like to think that, if you did, you'd still choose to trust me." 

There was a pause before the woman behind Eden said, "The Minozians this side have almost certainly developed the same technology for opening an inter-universal portal. I can tell you how to detect such activity on sensors." 


	10. Chapter 10

Kathryn moved swiftly down the hill to the lakeside, to ensure she was well clear of the lock-up before Eden exited. It was over a kilometre to the main promenade which skirted Lake Eerie, as it had been named by the humans that lived here now. As she reached the broad promenade, she turned left and walked a short way till she reached a bus-stop. There was nobody else waiting, and for that she was grateful. She wanted to be left alone with her thoughts. Eden had impressed her...enough for Kathryn to place some tentative trust in her. Tom had been right, after all. It was at least a huge relief. They had invested much in the possibility of a future life here, and she knew it was to all their benefits that they should be able to stay in relative safety. It was especially important for Miral and her unborn brother that they grew up amongst other young people. With that in mind, they had begun to set down roots here, and she had used the hard currency she had brought with her to buy a row of several houses in a superior, quiet and homely area about ten kilometres farther round the lake. All six of them were established in rather beautifully appointed homes, and Amelia Noonan and her husband had a house nearby. Kathryn and Amelia had become firm friends now, building on the instant rapport that had existed between them nine years earlier. They were very close in age and both women had an insatiable zest for adventure, and a curiosity about the universe and all its secrets. They also had an incredible vision for the future of the colony, and a knack for dealing with the practicalities. Amelia was very interested in the engineering projects that Kathryn and B'Elanna were working on. She was an able student too, as willing to learn as they were to teach. 

Kathryn had also set the Doctor up with a clinic nearby, and he was already training the local medics, so that they would be able to understand the great strides medicine had taken back in the Alpha Quadrant. It would be a long process, one he was excited about undertaking and he had already ensured that most doctors here were able to use latest medical scanners. They had removed the replicator from their shuttle to provide all that was needed, and it seemed that Eden was not going to demand it back. Rather, she was going to supply several more replicators. 

Kathryn took her place by the bus-stop and turned to gaze at the lake. It really didn't look much like the original Lake Eerie, she decided, but it was beautiful nonetheless. The light on this planet had a greenish hue, which reflected on the water in a quite unearthly manner. There were a few yachts already out on the lake, but someway distant. She had to strain her eyes to see them. The wind was whipping around her, lifting her Briorian skirt with it, but it was a soft balmy wind, the climate being much more temperate than it was in the Indiana home where she had been raised. Elsewhere on this planet, she knew there were deserts, polar ice-caps, rainforests and snowy mountains, but these were not the places where the Briori had chosen to locate their cities. Briori had all the beauty and dramatic variation as the planet she called home. The scenery was as varied and often as impressive as it was on earth, and yet there were vast swathes of the planet still undiscovered. She figured that Chakotay and she could satisfy their hunger for exploration right here on this planet. And if they ever wanted to see the stars again, they'd have access to some shuttlecraft, thanks to the Federation's benevolence. There was almost no crime too, although she would have to have lengthy discussions with Amelia, John Evansville, and the rest of the ruling council about it staying that way. There was no accounting for what changes in society this sudden influx of vastly advanced technology might bring about, and they would have to guard against allowing inequality to gain a foothold. She hoped they would take on board the lessons of the 21st century on earth, when there were vast ghettos of unemployed and unvalued human beings in many of the cities. 

No, this place may not have made any huge technological leaps forward over four centuries, the size of the population had seen to that. But as a society it had evolved much more happily than that of earth. It had experienced none of the low points of earth history, but they would have to make sure that their influence would only be to the good. 

Life here was just wonderful, and she hoped that they could stay here for the rest of their lives. The reaction of Starfleet when they finally arrived had been a source of anxiety for the fugitives for the last six months, and at least now they were here and things were panning out as they had hardly dare hope, that might lessen a little. Eden giving her support had always been considered a best case scenario. Chakotay would be delighted…well all the fugitives would. She knew he had been blissfully happy since they'd arrived. He was always telling her so. Was she happy too? She told herself she was, although a few concerns had secretly nibbled at her equanimity, preventing her from truly feeling rooted here. She let out a huge breath. She figured she should let go now of one big thorn in her side. Starfleet were not going to pursue her, and she could help them without risking her own freedom or the lives and happiness of those around her. The threat from the Minozians would diminish in time. They had almost certainly taken themselves back to their own universe, and as time went by, the two universes would diverge even further, rendering travel across the bridge between the two increasingly difficult. She would still continue to worry for B'Elanna and Miral. Maybe she always would. Having Eden monitor things on their behalf could be a good thing. 

In the distance, a ferry was leaving the harbour, an ancient structure which had been built and abandoned by the original Briori. She wondered what had happenened to those strange aliens, who had originally abducted humans for slaves. They had abandoned the planet soon after, and where they had gone was still a mystery. With the Federation exploring the surrounding space with great thoroughness, she figured that might not remain a mystery for much longer. Maybe there was a Briorian homeworld somewhere. This planet was likely to have been a colony for them too. Maybe they had been wiped out, or taken hostage themselves by some other vindictive race. It was an interesting puzzle. One she'd love to solve. 

She'd waited for some ten minutes, before she turned back to the road and saw the bus coming. 

* * *

  


Thirty minutes later, she walked up the drive of what she now considered home, and palmed the door lock. The door slid open before her, and the delicious aroma of fresh coffee assaulted her. Chakotay was incredible...he'd seen her coming and he knew just exactly what she needed. The man was a keeper, she thought, and wondered, as she often did, how she had suddenly been so blessed. She certainly didn't deserve him. She walked into the kitchen, and he abandoned the lunch he was preparing to greet her. 

She pulled off the dark glasses and black wig, she'd been wearing just in case anyone was videoing her conversation with Eden. She knew it was unlikely, the Briori had taken such good precautions, but she wasn't taking any chances either. She needed to ensure there were no images of her alive and well after her death on any Federation records anywhere, not just for her own safety, but for B'Elanna and Miral as well. If anyone started questioning her death, they could question theirs as well. 

Chakotay smiled. "Hello there, stranger!" he said, drawing her into a welcoming kiss. "I rather liked the dark dangerous undercover secret agent thing..." 

"Well, she's gone for the moment. You've got me again!" 

He kissed her a second time. "I suppose you'll do!" he teased. "Coffee?" 

"You are a Godsend, Chakotay...did I ever tell you that?" she said, taking the mug from him. 

"No, but I hope you think that for a long time to come!" 

Kathryn sniffed at the mug appreciatively, but it was too hot to taste for the moment. Chakotay picked up his mug of tea, and without further discussion they went through to the lounge and settled side by side on the sofa. 

Chakotay put his drink down on the low table before them, upon which sat the two identical bonding boxes in pride of place. He slipped his hand around hers. 

"How did it go with Eden?" 

"My gut feeling? It went well." 

"Your gut feeling is usually right." 

"I don't think she's going to give us away. But she wants me to be available to the Federation and Starfleet, should my knowledge and experience prove useful." 

"That's what she wanted from Seven." 

"Yes." 

"And is she going to preserve anonymity?" 

"I think so. We don't have any other choice but to trust her. If we don't, we have to give up everything we've worked for here and move elsewhere." Chakotay merely nodded at this. "She wants a contact in the Admiralty. She suggested Montgomery." 

"He's proven to be a principled man...despite appearances awhile back. What do you think?" 

"I've met him once or twice. He's a better choice than most." 

Chakotay laid his head back and gazed at the ceiling with a smile. He could always read between the lines with Kathryn. "You liked him then!" Kathryn only answered with a concessionary smile. "We can be happy here. Very happy here, and I know you are probably amenable to becoming an advisor to Starfleet deep down." 

"Yes, you are right." She took a swig of her coffee and grimaced. "What have you done to this? It tastes terrible!" 

Chakotay sat up, vaguely offended that she should think he had made her a disgusting cup of coffee. He hurriedly took the mug she was waving around between them from her before she spilled any. He sniffed at the contents suspiciously, but didn't detect anything out of the ordinary. He steeled himself to taste it, although he was not generally fond of the concoction. He took a reasonable mouthful, and still didn't detect anything wrong. It was as foul as it usually was. 

"It seems fine to me," he said, returning the mug to her. 

"You're not the expert." 

"No, but these are the same beans we've been using for a while." 

"Well, there must be something wrong with the replicator...the coffee's been very odd lately." 

"There's nothing wrong with the replicator. And it certainly doesn't have a grudge against me. There's nothing wrong with the ingredients I collected for lunch and there's nothing wrong with my tea either." 

"It definitely tastes off!" she said, taking another sip. 

He stood up. "I'll get you another one!" 

"Don't bother. It'll taste the same. I'll have water instead." 

"Yes, boss!" he said, turning for the kitchen. 

It was Kathryn's turn to throw her head back on the ridge of the sofa. She sighed heavily. "I think I could sleep for a week." 

He turned round to study her with rising comprehension. "You're pregnant!" 

"I'm not." 

"You are! The coffee, the tiredness...it all adds up." 

"I'm more likely sickening for something. Women my age don't get pregnant without medical assistance." 

"They do. I know a number of women of my tribe who had them older than you. This isn't the dark ages." 

"Not their first." 

"That may be true. But Kathryn, you _taste_ different too." 

Their gazes met, and Kathryn's eyes widened in understanding. His began twinkling with excitement. "I think I'd know, if...." She paused, watching his face carefully, as he fought to contain his rising excitement. "Wouldn't I?" she finished, weakly. 

With a rush, he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the house and down the drive. She protested a little at the speed of departure, but they soon made it several blocks along, to where the Doctor was at work in his clinic. As it happened, he was not with a patient at the time, being a little disappointed at the relatively good health of the people of Briori. He had been quietly studying medical histories at the time his visitors burst in, and was delighted with the interruption. 

"We need a pregnancy scan!" announced Chakotay. 

"I see," said the Doctor. 

Kathryn came past Chakotay a little breathlessly. "This is his idea..." she said apologetically, as if she thought the very notion of her being pregnant absurd. 

"So it seems. But we'd better make sure hadn't we? Will you lie down for me please?" 

Kathryn did as she was told, and the Doctor brandished his scanner over her abdomen. 

"Hmm." 

"Well?" asked Chakotay anxiously. 

"It seems your idea was a good one. We are expecting a happy event. You're six weeks pregnant, Admiral." 

Kathryn sat up in amazement. "Six weeks?" 

"Yes. I take it this is welcome news?" 

"Of course, it is!" said Chakotay, with a grin as huge as a Cheshire cat. "This is just wonderful. Thank goodness we didn't put you in stasis yesterday." 

"I would have checked before we did so," said the Doctor. 

"Is everything alright...with the baby?" Kathryn queried. 

"I assure you, everything is normal," said the Doctor. "You are fit and healthy, and there is no reason why you cannot carry this baby to term. You'll have to cut down on the coffee, though!" 

"I don't think that'll be too much of a problem!" laughed Chakotay. 

"Doctor, could you give us a moment?" asked Kathryn, sitting up again. 

"Of course! I'll be in my lounge, if you need me." He stepped towards the door to the area of the building that constituted his living quarters. They were small: he did not need much more than a lounge. "Congratulations, by the way!" he threw back, before vanishing. 

Kathryn and Chakotay remained with increasingly large grins on their faces. 

"Oh, Kathryn...this is just wonderful!" he said, reaching forward and touching her belly reverently. Kathryn covered his hand with hers, her face alight with wonder. Then he took her in his arms, pulling her close to his chest. "Wonderful." He kissed her forehead and nuzzled her hair. 

"You're happy?" 

"Ecstatic. Are you?" 

"Yes...a little shocked...but yes, happy." 

"You're going to have to marry me now." 

She stepped back. "You think a baby is a good reason to get married?" 

"I think the fact that we love each other is the reason to get married. And we were already causing enough controversy around here by our living arrangements...Amelia and Fred succumbed eventually. Now we're going to be a family..." 

"I appreciate the practicalities, Chakotay, but we can't do this just to satisfy public opinion." 

He smiled indulgently. "Kathryn, what happened to the woman who threw herself into things body and soul?" 

Her eyes widened in surprise. He'd wrong-footed her. "I have...I am.. I gave up everything to be here with you." Yet even as she said it, she knew there was an element of truth. 

"I'm not complaining about the body...our intimate life is...damn near perfect. But I want the soul part, Kathryn." 

Kathryn opened and closed her mouth. She couldn't decide how to respond to this. 

"I know what this is all about...why you've been holding out on me," he continued. "This is about my holding out on you when you first arrived." 

There was some glint of recognition on her face. "I wouldn't be so petty!" 

"Not deliberately, but on a sub-conscious level, you have. You've pretty much put up the same barrier round your heart that I did." 

She looked at him solemnly. "We've both been very wounded by our respective losses...we're not the same two people that first felt our love careering out of control...Our feelings have been tempered by losing the person we loved." 

"And finding them again...we both quite naturally have held the brakes on this...but, it's time to let the wounds heal. We've been very happy, but we could be deliriously happy. Let's fly in the face of fate! Take the final step...marry me, Kathryn." 

She appeared to consider the question for a moment. "Tell me one thing, Chakotay. Do you still think of me as an imposter?" 

Chakotay swallowed. He shouldn't have been surprised at her question. "Not for a long time. I love you...and the two of you have merged in my mind. You are her. She's gone...I've let her go...and now I can look back and say I'm glad we had that night together. I'm glad she had that. I wouldn't repeat the anguish that I went through afterwards, but I will forever be thankful you came and turned me around. We have everything to live for now...a whole future together. I want you to be my wife. No holds barred. You're right, we don't need the paper to be committed to each other. Both of us are in this for the long run. But it's about the joy of our being together and sharing it with our friends. It's about acknowledging what we feel about each other and making our promises in public. It's about sanctifying our union and about seizing the dream... This is about destiny... it's been written in the stars since we first met. We were fated to love each other, and I refuse to accept that life is only going to deal us heartache, that we are destined to a love that could only ever blossom for a short while. This is forever, Kathryn. This is what we were born for. Don't tell me you don't want to be my wife, because I won't believe you!" 

"No. I do want to be your wife." 

"Then marry me." 

"Am I…" she hesitated…"Do you think of me as _your_ Kathryn?" 

His heart twisted at the implication, and he stepped forward to haul her back into his arms. He understood the import of the words. He'd spent so long telling her how she was not his Kathryn when she'd first arrived, and he hadn't realised the depth of the hurt that it had caused. 

He nuzzled her hair soothingly. "You are my Kathryn, now and always. You've been my Kathryn since the moment we first made love. You're my rock, my peace, my joy, my heart. You are the other half of my soul." 

"Do you mean that?" 

"Till my dying breath." 

"Then I will marry you!" 

"You will?" he exclaimed in delight, pulling back and staring into her eyes. 

A broad smile spread on her face. "I'll marry you, Chakotay, because I love you more than life itself. But you'd better make it soon. Engagements are a disaster for me...and I don't want to look as fat as a targ in the pictures..." 

"Fat as a targ, eh? I'll bet you'd still look cute...." He drew his future wife and mother of his child back into a passionate embrace. "You really are going to marry me!" he said in wonder, hardly able to control his joy. 

And five days later, surrounded by their friends from Briori and Harry Kim on an official diplomatic mission of dubious merit, she did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankfully TPTB thought better of leaving Janeway dead and allowed the Q to resurrect her. I think they knew too that ultimately, as I thought, Voyager books have no future without Janeway in them, even if they asserted that she was staying dead when fans complained. This renders most Janeway lives stories obsolete but I do hope that they are still worth a read. Janeway is at the heart of the Voyager story, and, as Kate Mulgrew once implied, Voyager without her Captain just doesn't fly.


End file.
